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Ramirez only now realizes that the Dodgers didn’t give him number 69

Manny’s more upset over the lies than his new uniform number.

LOS ANGELES, CA -- Manny Ramirez looked at his uniform today and was stunned to realize that he'd been given the uniform number 99 instead of 69, which he had [continue reading...]

Posted on August 28th, 2008

“Manny being Manny” excuse infuriating to mother of 13-year-old Long Island boy

Emmanuel “Manny” Leiftowitz looks nothing like this.

MANHASSET, NY -- Rebecca Leiftowitz has had just about enough of her son Emmanuel "Manny" Leiftowitz's antics, and his excuses are starting to wear thin as well. "Emmanuel is such a [continue reading...]

Posted on August 6th, 2008

Dodgers to play two outfielders

LOS ANGELES -- Citing the "egregiously bad defense and lackluster effort" that Manny Ramirez brings to the table, the Los Angeles Dodgers have decided that they'll only be playing Matt [continue reading...]

Posted on August 2nd, 2008

Disgruntled Manny Ramirez demands trade from Dodgers

LOS ANGELES, CA -- Manny Ramirez wants to be traded again, asking the Dodgers formerly for a trade, about six hours before his first appearance with the team. Ramirez, [continue reading...]

Posted on August 1st, 2008

Manny Ramirez always rounds up

Man-Ram has his own special rules of mathematics.

BOSTON, MA -- Manny Ramirez raised some eyebrows this week when he stated that he has "nearly 2000 RBIs," since a quick check of his career statistics shows that he's [continue reading...]

Posted on July 28th, 2008

Manny looking to alleviate summer boredom

Manny’s trying to alleviate boredom with Etch-a-Sketch activities…

BOSTON, MA -- As June comes to a close and baseball reaches the heart of its season, the wear of eighty-plus games is starting to take its toll on the [continue reading...]

Posted on June 30th, 2008

Ramirez done “being Manny”

FORT MYERS, FL -- For years, Manny Ramirez's odd behavior – be it hiding out in the Green Monster, jamming to his iPod between innings or serially skipping the All-Star [continue reading...]

Posted on March 1st, 2008

Manny Ramirez completes 13 home run trots Sunday after mundane activities

BOSTON, MA -- Even before the door to the mailbox swung shut, Manny Ramirez knew his letter was gone. The slugger raised his arms directly in the air, let out a [continue reading...]

Posted on October 21st, 2007


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