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Kobe officially tired of talking about how Shaq’s ass tastes

The taste of ass causes Kobe to make this face…

LOS ANGELES, CA -- Finally breaking his silence about Shaquille O'Neal's controversial freestyle rap, Kobe Bryant revealed to SSNN that – not surprisingly – he's unhappy with his former teammate's [continue reading...]

Posted on June 30th, 2008

Woman who actually knows how Shaq’s ass tastes paid not to tell anyone

Shaq’s ass does not, in all likelihood, taste very good!

LOS ANGELES, CA -- In a dramatic and ironic twist, one of the few people in the world who actually knows how Shaquille O'Neal's ass tastes has been paid not [continue reading...]

Posted on June 25th, 2008

Shaq claims skewed media coverage of freestyle rap

Shaquille O’Neal, microphone assassin…

NEW YORK CITY, NY – In the wake of causing a major stir with by apparently dissing Kobe Bryant in a freestyle rap at a New York club, Shaquille O'Neal [continue reading...]

Posted on June 24th, 2008

Pierce injures leg, unable to take out garbage

Pierce’s leg injury appears to be recurring

BOSTON, MA -- While Boston fans were celebrating their 17th NBA championship on Tuesday night, one of the key cogs from their latest championship squad was suffering déjà vu. Mere [continue reading...]

Posted on June 18th, 2008

Celtics’ bandwagon collapses under immense weight

The Celts’ bandwagon shattered

BOSTON, MA -- Tragedy struck the Celtics fan base today as the team's bandwagon suddenly collapsed beneath millions of people in green "BEAT LA" t-shirts. Thousands were injured, though no [continue reading...]

Posted on June 17th, 2008

Stern maintains no criminal acts by NBA referees

Stern says the refs don’t cheat, they just stink

LOS ANGELES, CA -- In an apparent attempt to silence critics in the wake of game-fixing allegations leveled by former referee Tim Donaghy, NBA commissioner David Stern addressed the media [continue reading...]

Posted on June 15th, 2008

Kobe demanding trade again after Game 4 loss

Kobe is going to make this face until he gets traded

LOS ANGELES, CA -- During a spectacular regular season that ended with the Lakers in the top spot in the Western Conference, and a playoff run that landed them in [continue reading...]

Posted on June 14th, 2008

Electronic Arts announces recall, delayed release of NBA Live ‘09

REDWOOD CITY, CA -- Electronic Arts, maker of the EA Sports line of video games, announced today that they are pushing back the release of this year's version of their [continue reading...]

Posted on June 12th, 2008

Pierce says wheelchair is his normal mode of transportation

Paul Pierce, sans wheelchair

BOSTON, MA -- Boston Celtics forward Paul Pierce is downplaying the way his teammates carried him off the court, and his use of a wheelchair to get to the locker [continue reading...]

Posted on June 10th, 2008

Jackson, Lakers practice excuses

Phil Jackson’s not smug, he just knows more than you

LOS ANGELES, CA -- Los Angeles Lakers head coach Phil Jackson, along with his team, went to the Staples Center conference room for an interesting workout after Monday's practice in [continue reading...]

Posted on June 10th, 2008

Powe’s production no surprise to friends, teammates

Even Powe is surprised by his own efficiency

BOSTON, MA -- Undoubtedly one of the most surprising parts of the Celtics' 108-102 victory in Game 2 of the NBA finals was the performance of 24-year-old backup forward Leon [continue reading...]

Posted on June 9th, 2008

Bird, Magic emphasize they are not playing in this year’s Finals

Magic is definitely not playing in this series…

BOSTON, MA -- Citing the confusion generated by the media's non-stop references to their epic battles of the 1980s, NBA Hall-of-Famers Larry Bird and Magic Johnson issued a joint statement [continue reading...]

Posted on June 8th, 2008

Stern to Spurs: no conspiracy, just evened numbered year

Stern denies charges of conspiracy

BOSTON, MA -- NBA Commissioner David Stern released a statement today in response to mounting criticism that the outcome of the NBA Western Conference Finals was fixed. In it he [continue reading...]

Posted on June 5th, 2008

Celtics have “secret” weapon against Lakers

Hopefully Red’s cigar smoke won’t bother the players…

BOSTON, MA -- With his beloved Celtics facing the Los Angeles Lakers in the NBA finals, the ghost of Red Auerbach held a press conference today to announce his intentions [continue reading...]

Posted on June 5th, 2008

Ginobili’s career in question

Ginobili is almost certainly flopping in this picture

LOS ANGELES, CA -- Already bounced from the Western Conference Finals in only five games by the Lakers, bad news keeps on coming for the defending champion San Antonio Spurs. [continue reading...]

Posted on May 30th, 2008

Popovich cancels Spurs practice

Popovich can barely stay awake

SAN ANTONIO, TX -- Things are not looking good for the defending NBA Champion San Antonio Spurs. Already trailing the Los Angeles Lakers 2-1 in the Western Conference Finals, the [continue reading...]

Posted on May 27th, 2008

Mayor of New Orleans didn’t know Hornets were in playoffs

Ray Nagin is a little confused

NEW ORLEANS, LA -- New Orleans mayor Ray Nagin was both thrilled and stunned Tuesday when, while channel surfing, he stumbled across the New Orleans Hornets playing a basketball game. "I [continue reading...]

Posted on May 14th, 2008

Bryant banned from Denver hotels, finds cute B&B

Could you turn away this face from YOUR B&B?

DENVER, CO -- Kobe Bryant is accustomed to putting the load on his shoulders and turning bad situations into good ones, but for the Lakers' two playoff wins in Denver, [continue reading...]

Posted on April 30th, 2008

Karl vows to “put somebody on that Bryant kid” in Game Three

You may not know this Kobe guy, but he’s scoring on the Nuggets

DENVER, CO -- After giving up a combined 81 points to previously unknown Lakers guard Kobe Bryant in their first two playoff games, the Denver Nuggets have vowed to make [continue reading...]

Posted on April 25th, 2008

Kobe adds asterisk to Shaq’s fantasy football championship

LOS ANGELES, CA -- The Los Angeles Lakers Fantasy Football Association's year-end banquet ended in contention Thursday, when it was discovered that Kobe Bryant had defaced the Divac Cup – [continue reading...]

Posted on January 4th, 2008

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