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Los Angeles Archives

FROM THE ARCHIVES: Beckham enjoying retirement from soccer

With the Los Angeles Galaxy's hiring of Ruud Gullit as their coach, SSNN revisits a classic story from August 2007. LOS ANGELES, CA -- Just over a month after his much-heralded [continue reading...]

Posted on November 10th, 2007

Spencer from The Hills makes anti-fantasy football comments, solidifies title as ‘biggest douche ever’

HOLLYWOOD HILLS, CA -- Spencer Pratt, long established as the biggest douche in modern America, has reportedly clinched the title as biggest douche in human history after making a [continue reading...]

Posted on November 5th, 2007

USC petitions ESPN to keep “dynasty” label

LOS ANGELES, CA -– Despite losing their second game of the season, SSNN has learned that The University of Southern California has filed a petition with ESPN to keep their [continue reading...]

Posted on November 1st, 2007

McKnight one big game from first raise

LOS ANGELES, CA -- Following two straight impressive performances, heralded USC super-frosh Joe McKnight made significant strides in receiving the first pay increase of his career. "He's really close. Now [continue reading...]

Posted on October 22nd, 2007

Kobe Bryant lands Big role in Sex and the City movie

LOS ANGELES, CA -- Kobe Bryant is finally going to get his Screen Actors Guild card, it seems. In spite of a career which has included three NBA championships, several scoring [continue reading...]

Posted on September 15th, 2007

Derek Lowe thinks he can ‘help’ Lohan, Spears

LOS ANGELES, CA -- As the out of control train-wrecks of Britney Spears and Lindsay Lohan's careers continue careening toward disaster, one Los Angeles citizen is stepping up to offer [continue reading...]

Posted on September 11th, 2007

Beckham enjoying retirement from soccer

LOS ANGELES, CA -- Just over a month after his much-heralded arrival in Los Angeles, David Beckham took a moment to give SSNN an update on how he's adjusting to [continue reading...]

Posted on August 21st, 2007

Coach not hopeful for Beckham impact

LOS ANGELES, CA -- Less than a month into the David Beckham experiment, Los Angeles Galaxy coach Frank Yallop already considers Beckham a bust; but not for the reasons that [continue reading...]

Posted on August 13th, 2007

Stanley Cup to go under knife

ANAHEIM, CA -- The Stanley Cup trophy has been in California for only a few weeks; but that was enough time for it to realize that it wants to get [continue reading...]

Posted on June 21st, 2007

Chicago, Los Angeles marshalling forces for Olympic showdown

CHICAGO, IL -- After weeks of extreme tensions between Chicago and Los Angeles, the cities have declared war on one another and are preparing for a battle the likes of [continue reading...]

Posted on April 13th, 2007

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