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INS raids ESPN Deportes

BRISTOL, CT—I.N.S. officials conducted a raid on ESPN’s sister company ESPN Deportes late yesterday afternoon, acting on an anonymous tip that the company was employing illegal aliens. Two dozen employees [continue reading...]

Posted on October 15th, 2008

ESPN unveils latest summer gimmick: “Who’s Porno Hot?”

BRISTOL, CT – Sports fans often dread the news wasteland that is the month of July; the NBA and NHL Finals are over, the NFL has yet to start training [continue reading...]

Posted on July 2nd, 2008

Berman: “Me or the Internet”

BRISTOL, CT -- ESPN is scrambling today after a fiery Chris Berman told executives that he was thinking about leaving his post with the company after nearly 30 years. "At [continue reading...]

Posted on February 25th, 2008

ESPN “totally spaced” on airing fourth game of WNBA Finals

BRISTOL, CT -- ESPN Director of Programming Dan Portman was fined $100 and stripped of his parking space Friday after the fifth-year executive "completely bricked" on airing the [continue reading...]

Posted on September 14th, 2007

Berman proclaims latest nickname best of year

BRISTOL, CT -- Chris Berman was allegedly "unbearable to be around" Tuesday after coming up with what he deemed the "Nickname of the Year." The nickname was Joba "the Hut" [continue reading...]

Posted on August 15th, 2007

SportsCenter format changes nixed

BRISTOL, CT -- After months of now-wasted preparation, ESPN has decided against proposed changes to SportsCenter, their daily staple that changed the way sports news is presented. The all-sports network [continue reading...]

Posted on May 28th, 2007


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