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law Archives

Kelton family Olympics marred by doping scandal

DES MOINES, IA -- James Kelton had been looking forward to Friday for more than two years, and was in a positively giddy mood when he came home from his [continue reading...]

Posted on August 18th, 2008

Pedro Gomez still inexplicably standing outside Bonds’ house

PHOENIX, AZ -- Police were called to a serene, gated community here in Phoenix again Thursday, where they arrested ESPN reporter Pedro Gomez for the 18th time this year for [continue reading...]

Posted on August 15th, 2008

Bengals hope to sign most of Georgia football team

CINCINNATI, OH -- The Cincinnati Bengals have turned the full resources of their scouting department toward Georgia, especially two members of the state university's football team who were removed during [continue reading...]

Posted on August 11th, 2008

Rangers to sponsor “Josh Hamilton Night” in Arlington

Hamilton once loved cocaine, but now sticks to nasty chewing tobacco…

ARLINGTON, TX -- The Texas Rangers sent out a press release early Monday announcing that the Friday, July 11 home game against the Chicago White Sox has officially been designated [continue reading...]

Posted on June 30th, 2008

Harrison seeks legal advice from Lewis, Simpson

Marvin’s just looking for a little help from Ray and O.J.

PHILADELPHIA, PA -- Under investigation regarding his involvement in a Philadelphia shooting, Indianapolis Colts' wide receiver Marvin Harrison is not taking any chances. An anonymous source close to the Pro Bowler [continue reading...]

Posted on June 29th, 2008

Steinbrenner suing MLB in wake of Wang injury

NEW YORK CITY, NY -- After ace pitcher Chien-Ming Wang suffered an injured foot during yesterday's game in Houston against the Astros, New York Yankees boss Hank Steinbrenner has filed [continue reading...]

Posted on June 16th, 2008

Stern maintains no criminal acts by NBA referees

Stern says the refs don’t cheat, they just stink

LOS ANGELES, CA -- In an apparent attempt to silence critics in the wake of game-fixing allegations leveled by former referee Tim Donaghy, NBA commissioner David Stern addressed the media [continue reading...]

Posted on June 15th, 2008

Benson to enroll in flight school after latest arrest, release from Bears

AUSTIN, TX -- Though Cedric Benson's two alcohol-related arrests this summer led to his being cut from the Chicago Bears, they have not diminished his desire to succeed. "Like I've told [continue reading...]

Posted on June 10th, 2008

Noah too high to understand charges against son

Yannick Noah is almost certainly high in this picture

PARIS, FRANCE -- For all their strange behavior – and stranger hair – it seems that at least one age-old maxim applies to the Noah family: like father, like son. [continue reading...]

Posted on May 27th, 2008

Bonds indictment changed to include head growth, testicle shrinkage

SAN FRANCISCO, CA -- In February, Judge Susan Illston ordered prosecutors in the Barry Bonds perjury case to refile their charges in order to avoid the case being thrown out [continue reading...]

Posted on May 15th, 2008

Man arrested for sending threatening letters to NFL players

ORLANDO, FL -- A Florida man was arrested yesterday in Orlando after being identified as the sender of multiple menacing letters to approximately twenty NFL players – including Reggie Bush, [continue reading...]

Posted on May 13th, 2008

Harrison admits to vigilante activities

PHILADELPHIA, PA -- A recent shooting near one of his Philadelphia-area businesses has forced Colts wide receiver Marvin Harrison to reveal his secretive off-field life. Harrison told reporters today that [continue reading...]

Posted on May 9th, 2008

Benson says arrest is part of training program

AUSTIN, TX -- Chicago Bears running back Cedric Benson says his recent arrest in Texas is [continue reading...]

Posted on May 7th, 2008

Clemens issues denial of future allegations

HOUSTON, TX -- Roger Clemens and his attorneys issued a statement today in which the fallen star denied any and all future allegations that may be made against him. Clemens – [continue reading...]

Posted on May 7th, 2008

Cops say Benson is surprisingly easy to take down

AUSTIN, TX -- When Chicago Bears running back Cedric Benson was arrested for driving his boat on an Austin, Texas lake, police say they were surprised by how easily the [continue reading...]

Posted on May 6th, 2008

Crean sees progress in player’s arrest

Tom Crean is pleased with Indiana’s legal troubles

BLOOMINGTON, IN -- Following forward Eli Holman's brief arrest by Indiana University campus police on Thursday, new Hoosiers head coach Tom Crean said the basketball program is making strides in [continue reading...]

Posted on May 5th, 2008

Police find body frozen underneath ice at Joe Louis Arena

DETROIT, MI -- Police in Detroit have had strange murder cases before, but nothing quite like this. In the hours before the Red Wings' Saturday playoff game with the Colorado [continue reading...]

Posted on April 30th, 2008

Bryant banned from Denver hotels, finds cute B&B

Could you turn away this face from YOUR B&B?

DENVER, CO -- Kobe Bryant is accustomed to putting the load on his shoulders and turning bad situations into good ones, but for the Lakers' two playoff wins in Denver, [continue reading...]

Posted on April 30th, 2008

Dallas strip clubs arm security in anticipation of Pacman’s arrival

DALLAS, TX – Adam "Pacman" Jones will arrive in Dallas this season as the Cowboys' newest cornerback, and the locals are preparing. Strip clubs in the Dallas-Fort Worth area have [continue reading...]

Posted on April 29th, 2008

Chiefs’ GM arrested for drafting while intoxicated

Peterson was regretful after drafting drunk

KANSAS CITY, MO -- NFL fans around the league knew something had gone horribly awry when it was announced that the Kansas City Chiefs had selected punter Brian Ross from [continue reading...]

Posted on April 28th, 2008

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