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Man furious with co-workers for skipping his Pro Bowl party

MORRISTOWN, N.J. -- Things are awkward at DataTech Systems this morning, as Charlie Zimmer is seething mad at all of his co-workers. "What can I say," Zimmer said. "I work with [continue reading...]

Posted on February 9th, 2009

Cardinals receiver says Bernoulli Effect to blame for sideline spat

PHOENIX, AZ -- Arizona Cardinals wide receiver Anquon Boldin laughed off criticism of his nationally-televised animated argument with offensive coordinator Todd Haley, calling the disagreement “a minor spat over the [continue reading...]

Posted on January 24th, 2009

Anquan Boldin only Cardinal to not watch inauguration; shunned by teammates

GLENDALE, AZ—Along with an estimated two-thirds of their countrymen, the Arizona Cardinals took a break from their team meeting Tuesday morning to watch the inauguration of Barack Obama as the [continue reading...]

Posted on January 21st, 2009

Kurt Warner makes donations in his teammates name as a thank you for getting him to the Pro Bowl

PHOENIX, AZ -- On the eve of the franchise's biggest game in the last sixty years, the Arizona Cardinals clubhouse is in turmoil today after Kurt Warner gave presents to [continue reading...]

Posted on January 16th, 2009

Fitzgerald frustrated with inability to unsubscribe from Cardinals email listserv

Enjoy this encore presentation of a classic SSNN piece. TEMPE, AZ -- With fellow receiver Anquan Boldin out due to injury last weekend, third-year wideout Larry Fitzgerald led the Arizona Cardinals [continue reading...]

Posted on November 23rd, 2008

Transcript of an audio recording capturing an exchange between Ken Whisenhunt and Kurt Warner of the Arizona Cardinals

[The following is an audio recording capturing an exchange between Arizona Cardinals head coach Ken Whisenhunt and Cardinals QB Kurt Warner] Kurt Warner: “Hey coach…” Ken Whisenhunt: “Hey Kurt, how’s [continue reading...]

Posted on September 2nd, 2008

Jesus loves Warner more than Kitna

GLENDALE, AZ -- In a much-hyped battle between outspoken Christian quarterbacks Kurt Warner and Jon Kitna, Jesus made his feelings more than apparent by bestowing a victory upon Warner's Arizona [continue reading...]

Posted on November 12th, 2007

FROM THE ARCHIVES: Fitzgerald frustrated with inability to unsubscribe from Cardinals email listserv

On a day when Larry Fitzgerald carried many fantasy teams, SSNN looks back at an amusing story starting #11 from earlier this year in our daily From the Archives feature. TEMPE, [continue reading...]

Posted on November 11th, 2007

Spencer from The Hills makes anti-fantasy football comments, solidifies title as ‘biggest douche ever’

HOLLYWOOD HILLS, CA -- Spencer Pratt, long established as the biggest douche in modern America, has reportedly clinched the title as biggest douche in human history after making a [continue reading...]

Posted on November 5th, 2007

Fitzgerald frustrated with inability to unsubscribe from Cardinals email listserv

TEMPE, AZ -- With fellow receiver Anquan Boldin out due to injury last weekend, third-year wideout Larry Fitzgerald led the Arizona Cardinals to a 34-31 victory over their division foes, [continue reading...]

Posted on October 12th, 2007

Bush makes surprise visit to Iraq, attends fantasy football draft in person

ANBAR PROVINCE, IRAQ -- En route to a summit in Sydney, Australia, U.S. President George W. Bush stopped over in Iraq for a surprise visit, and attended his fantasy football [continue reading...]

Posted on September 7th, 2007


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