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Larry Bird Archives

1992 Dream Teamer to join 2008 Olympic basketball team

BEIJING, CHINA -- With the Olympics already underway, the United States basketball team has made a surprise announcement – they are going to be joined by a member of the [continue reading...]

Posted on August 10th, 2008

Bird, Magic emphasize they are not playing in this year’s Finals

BOSTON, MA -- Citing the confusion generated by the media's non-stop references to their epic battles of the 1980s, NBA Hall-of-Famers Larry Bird and Magic Johnson issued a joint statement [continue reading...]

Posted on June 8th, 2008

Bird threatens Pacers with short shorts, mustaches

INDIANAPOLIS, IN -- Basketball legend and Indiana Pacers' executive Larry Bird wasted no time in flexing his newfound power following the departure of CEO Donnie Walsh. Bird, the President of [continue reading...]

Posted on April 23rd, 2008

Nash shows up at Spurs practice

SAN ANTONIO, TX -- The San Antonio Spurs got a surprise earlier today while preparing for Game 2 of their first round series with the Phoenix Suns. "We were running [continue reading...]

Posted on April 21st, 2008

Walsh out after embarrassing 4-game winning streak

INDIANAPOLIS, IN -- The Indiana Pacers have won four games in a row, and owners Herb and Mel Simon aren't happy about it. Sitting just a game and a half [continue reading...]

Posted on March 25th, 2008

Boston sports fans confident apocalypse is near

BOSTON, MA -- The recent success of Boston sports teams has led many Bostonians to speculate that the apocalypse is near. "Oh, abso-fuckin'-lutely," Boston sports fan, Bert McNulty told SSNN. [continue reading...]

Posted on November 13th, 2007

O’Neal calls cops, gets arrested

INDIANAPOLIS, IN -- Police responded to an anonymous report of "a big ol' black dude wavin' a gat around" in the parking lot of Indianapolis' Club Rio strip club late [continue reading...]

Posted on May 12th, 2007

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