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Lane Kiffin Archives

In preseason douche poll, Lane Kiffin wins biggest douche in the SEC award, stunning the field

KNOXVILLE, TN -- The Lane Kiffin era in Tennessee is off to a better start than ever hoped, with the results of the conference's annual Preseason Douchebag Coach Poll being [continue reading...]

Posted on February 9th, 2009

Kiffin “amazingly lame” for such a young coach

KNOXVILLE, TN -- Lane Kiffin has arrived in Rocky Top, and the first reports are coming in about the 33-year old coach. "I understand that Lane is only 33 years old," [continue reading...]

Posted on December 4th, 2008

Kiffin to quit as Vols coach: “My work here is almost done”

KNOXVILLE, TN -- Citing that he'd "accomplished everything [he] wanted to," Lane Kiffin announced this morning that he's resigning as coach of the Tennesse Volunteers football team after allegedly committing [continue reading...]

Posted on December 2nd, 2008

Lane Kiffin takes HR job with Santa Clara dot-com

SANTA CLARA, CA -- Well, that didn't take very long. Former Oakland Raiders head coach Lane Kiffin is happy to announce that he's landed a new job, just weeks after his [continue reading...]

Posted on November 14th, 2008

Angry Al Davis to run for President

OAKLAND, CA—Unsatisfied with running an NFL franchise and filled with contempt for the Washington establishment, and to a larger degree the human race in general, controversial football executive Al Davis [continue reading...]

Posted on October 2nd, 2008

Lane Kiffin changes Facebook relationship status to “It’s complicated with Al Davis”

OAKLAND, CA -- Lane Kiffin's 232 friends were treated Tuesday to an unexpected news alert Monday, as Kiffin changed his Facebook relationship status to "It's complicated with Al Davis." "I just [continue reading...]

Posted on September 30th, 2008

Azinger favorite to be next coach of Oakland Raiders

OAKLAND, CA -- Citing his unbelievable success at the Ryder Cup, Al Davis has his eyes on Paul Azinger as the potential next coach of the Oakland Raiders. "Did you see [continue reading...]

Posted on September 22nd, 2008

Raiders determined not to let McFadden interfere with 2009 draft plans

OAKLAND, CA -- Oakland Raiders coach Lane Kiffin told reporters today that first-round draft choice Darren McFadden will not be allowed to ruin the team's future plans by having a [continue reading...]

Posted on May 5th, 2008

Raiders can’t find Warren Sapp, are concerned

OAKLAND, CA -- Amid all of the hoopla surrounding the retirement of Green Bay Packers quarterback Brett Favre, Raiders All-Pro defensive tackle Warren Sapp's announcement that he too was calling [continue reading...]

Posted on May 2nd, 2008

Raiders have special plans for McFadden

OAKLAND, CA -- The Miami Dolphins surprised everyone Wednesday when they announced that the organization had come to terms with Michigan offensive tackle Jake Long, preemptively making the All-American the [continue reading...]

Posted on April 24th, 2008

Green encouraged by Crystal, plans to try out at fullback

MALIBU, CA -- Far be it from 60-year Billy Crystal to initiate any sort of passing Hollywood fad, but a shocking statement made by a fellow show-business employee indicates the [continue reading...]

Posted on March 21st, 2008

Raiders sign huge free agent

OAKLAND, CA -- The Oakland Raiders are the latest NFL team to make [continue reading...]

Posted on March 13th, 2007

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