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Kobe Bryant Archives
Local 12-year-olds disappointed by lack of Kobe-LeBron Final
KINGSBURY, NY—Local 12-year-olds Howard Harrison and Damien Shingwel announced today their disappointment that this year’s much-anticipated, much-hyped potential NBA Finals matchup between the Cleveland Cavaliers and the Los [continue reading...]
Posted on June 3rd, 2009
Dungy calls Phil Jackson, asks for advice on tell-all book trashing star player
INDIANAPOLIS, IN—Reports have begun surfacing today that Colts head coach Tony Dungy will be stepping down and retiring from football after a tenure with Indianapolis that included seven playoff appearances [continue reading...]
Posted on January 13th, 2009
2008 Top 20, #8: Citing failures in New Orleans, NBA moving ‘09 All-Star to Jakarta
NEW ORLEANS, LA -- Describing the All-Star Weekend in New Orleans as a "monumental error in judgment and a tremendous letdown," NBA commissioner David Stern announced that next year's All-Star [continue reading...]
Posted on December 30th, 2008
2008 Year in Review, #20: Mayor of New Orleans didn’t know Hornets were in playoffs
SSNN is presenting its top 20 posts from 2008 in order. Enjoy! NEW ORLEANS, LA -- New Orleans mayor Ray Nagin was both thrilled and stunned Tuesday when, while channel surfing, [continue reading...]
Posted on December 27th, 2008
Announcement of canceled Arena Football League season is accidentally covered
BRISTOL, CT—To the shock and surprise of many, the announcement that the 2009 Arena Football League season would be canceled due to financial problems, was actually noted and covered by [continue reading...]
Posted on December 16th, 2008
Kobe Bryant and Vanessa Bryant accidentally have a date arranged for them by AshleyMadison.com
LOS ANGELES, CA -- When Kobe Bryant registered for AshleyMadison.com, he didn't know what he expected to find. However, after an unusual turn of events this week, Bryant was taken [continue reading...]
Posted on November 25th, 2008
ARCHIVES — KG: “Facebook would be more fun if I had gone to college”
Enjoy this encore presentation of a classic SSNN piece. BOSTON, MA -- Though there have not been many occasions when he has regretted his decision of more than ten years ago, [continue reading...]
Posted on November 21st, 2008
ARCHIVES: Kobe officially tired of talking about how Shaq’s ass tastes
Enjoy this encore presentation of a classic SSNN piece. LOS ANGELES, CA -- Finally breaking his silence about Shaquille O'Neal's controversial freestyle rap, Kobe Bryant revealed to SSNN that – not [continue reading...]
Posted on November 20th, 2008
New York teen unimpressed with “Redeem Team” victory
HARLEM, N.Y. -- Terrell Robinson doesn't get what all the fuss is about. Robinson, 17, of Harlem, watched with interest last week as the United States basketball "Redeem Team" handled their [continue reading...]
Posted on August 29th, 2008
1992 Dream Teamer to join 2008 Olympic basketball team
BEIJING, CHINA -- With the Olympics already underway, the United States basketball team has made a surprise announcement – they are going to be joined by a member of the [continue reading...]
Posted on August 10th, 2008
Kobe officially tired of talking about how Shaq’s ass tastes
LOS ANGELES, CA -- Finally breaking his silence about Shaquille O'Neal's controversial freestyle rap, Kobe Bryant revealed to SSNN that – not surprisingly – he's unhappy with his former teammate's [continue reading...]
Posted on June 30th, 2008
Woman who actually knows how Shaq’s ass tastes paid not to tell anyone
LOS ANGELES, CA -- In a dramatic and ironic twist, one of the few people in the world who actually knows how Shaquille O'Neal's ass tastes has been paid not [continue reading...]
Posted on June 25th, 2008
Shaq claims skewed media coverage of freestyle rap
NEW YORK CITY, NY – In the wake of causing a major stir with by apparently dissing Kobe Bryant in a freestyle rap at a New York club, Shaquille O'Neal [continue reading...]
Posted on June 24th, 2008
Schilling’s shoulder to have own blog
BOSTON, MA -- Following Boston Red Sox Pitcher Curt Schilling's recent disclosure that he will have potentially career-ending shoulder surgery, the outspoken Schilling announced today that his shoulder will chronicle [continue reading...]
Posted on June 23rd, 2008
Kobe demanding trade again after Game 4 loss
LOS ANGELES, CA -- During a spectacular regular season that ended with the Lakers in the top spot in the Western Conference, and a playoff run that landed them in [continue reading...]
Posted on June 14th, 2008
Electronic Arts announces recall, delayed release of NBA Live ‘09
REDWOOD CITY, CA -- Electronic Arts, maker of the EA Sports line of video games, announced today that they are pushing back the release of this year's version of their [continue reading...]
Posted on June 12th, 2008
Jackson, Lakers practice excuses
LOS ANGELES, CA -- Los Angeles Lakers head coach Phil Jackson, along with his team, went to the Staples Center conference room for an interesting workout after Monday's practice in [continue reading...]
Posted on June 10th, 2008
Celtics have “secret” weapon against Lakers
BOSTON, MA -- With his beloved Celtics facing the Los Angeles Lakers in the NBA finals, the ghost of Red Auerbach held a press conference today to announce his intentions [continue reading...]
Posted on June 5th, 2008
Mayor of New Orleans didn’t know Hornets were in playoffs
NEW ORLEANS, LA -- New Orleans mayor Ray Nagin was both thrilled and stunned Tuesday when, while channel surfing, he stumbled across the New Orleans Hornets playing a basketball game. "I [continue reading...]
Posted on May 14th, 2008
Bryant banned from Denver hotels, finds cute B&B
DENVER, CO -- Kobe Bryant is accustomed to putting the load on his shoulders and turning bad situations into good ones, but for the Lakers' two playoff wins in Denver, [continue reading...]
Posted on April 30th, 2008
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