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Joe Mauer Archives

Justin Morneau all pissed off at teammates over lack of Boxing Day well-wishes

MINNEAPOLIS, MN--Justin Morneau's teammates didn't call him to wish him a happy Boxing Day, and he is pissed off. "I spent the whole morning waiting for my mobile phone to buzz," [continue reading...]

Posted on December 26th, 2008

White Sox’ Ozzie Guillen proposes to “swap teams” with Twins’ Ron Gardenhire

MINNEAPOLIS, MN -- Following a crushing defeat in the third game of a three-game sweep that vaulted the Minnesota Twins into first place in the AL central, Ozzie Guillen made [continue reading...]

Posted on September 26th, 2008

Passing of trade deadline allows President Bush to focus more on politics

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- August 25 has come and gone, and President Bush has informed his staff and the nation at large that he's "now ready to really get back to [continue reading...]

Posted on August 26th, 2008

Twins prepare Liriano defenses

Only a few days after the Minnesota Twins were seemingly discovered to be conspiring to limit Francisco Liriano's service time, SSNN got a hold of an internal memo that [continue reading...]

Posted on July 31st, 2008

Twins defect to NL, lead West division by four games

MINNEAPOLIS, MN -- In what has been called a daring midnight escape, the entire Minnesota Twins organization defected from the gray, dreary American League Central to the sunny climes of [continue reading...]

Posted on June 28th, 2008

Justin Morneau has only 34 friends on MySpace

MINNEAPOLIS, MN -- Reigning American League MVP Justin Morneau is dismayed that, despite his rise in popularity and his MVP award, his MySpace page has failed to generate him the [continue reading...]

Posted on January 4th, 2007

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