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Joe Maddon Archives

Evan Longoria afraid of spiders, snakes, and World Series

PHILADELPHIA, PA -- Prior to this week, Evan Longoria had only two major fears: spiders and snakes. However, teammates from the Tampa Bay Rays report that Longoria can safely add [continue reading...]

Posted on October 27th, 2008

Paris Hilton keeps asking boyfriend Benji Madden for tickets to World Series

HOLLYWOOD, CA -- Blonde bombshell Paris Hilton has her boyfriend quite confused. Benji Madden, who is the guitarist for Good Charlotte, has been dating Hilton for months, and has been asked [continue reading...]

Posted on October 22nd, 2008

Rays forfeit first game of World Series

TAMPA BAY, FL -- In an unusual move, the Tampa Bay Rays have officially forfeited the first game of the 2008 World Series, under the provision that Phillies pitcher Cole [continue reading...]

Posted on October 20th, 2008

Vitale so excited about the Rays that he’s just walking around yelling all the time and saying these ridiculous phrases

TAMPA BAY, FL -- Dick Vitale, who has been a Tampa Bay Rays season ticket holder since the team's move to the Tampa area, is so excited about the Rays' [continue reading...]

Posted on October 12th, 2008

B.J. Upton benched for remainder of playoffs for lack of hustle during post-game celebration

TAMPA BAY, FL -- A distraught Joe Maddon told reporters that B.J. Upton had left him "no choice," and that the Rays star centerfielder would be benched for the remainder [continue reading...]

Posted on October 8th, 2008

BJ Upton wets himself due to lack of hustle

TAMPA BAY, FL -- Tampa Bay Rays second baseman had an embarrassing moment Monday when he micterated in his pants in the middle of the fourth inning. Upton, who has been [continue reading...]

Posted on August 19th, 2008

Rays’ Maddon hailed as Second Coming

TAMPA, FL -- Tampa Bay Rays manager Joe Maddon has, by the standards of many baseball experts, performed a miracle in leading his previously hapless squad to first place in [continue reading...]

Posted on July 10th, 2008

Selig to raise stakes again

TUCSON, AZ -- In an effort to make spring-training baseball more interesting, commissioner Bud Selig has decided to reward teams that play well in the exhibition games. He announced [continue reading...]

Posted on March 2nd, 2007

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