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Yankees assign Mark Teixeira to wake up CC Sabathia from hibernation

cc-sabathia

NEW YORK -- With spring training just around the corner, the New York Yankees are beginning their final preparations for the season. This year, that includes the daunting task of [continue reading...]

Posted on January 23rd, 2009

Yankees make a play for another big-named pitcher

BRONX, N.Y. -- Following the historic signing of pitcher C.C. Sabathia, the New York Yankees are in talks with another big name, announcing Thursday that they are going to pursue [continue reading...]

Posted on December 12th, 2008

Sabathia to eat old Yankee Stadium

CC Sabathia is about to wake up from his long winter’s nap.

NEW YORK, NY—The signing of CC Sabathia by the Yankees on Wednesday presented the Yankees with one answer to two of their problems: shoring up their porous pitching staff, and [continue reading...]

Posted on December 10th, 2008

Joba will be on smaller, more strict pitch count when activated

Joba will have 9 pitches to make an impact in his next few starts.

NEW YORK, NY -- In an effort to protect one of the most valuable arms in their system, the New York Yankees have declared that Joba Chamberlain will be on [continue reading...]

Posted on August 13th, 2008

A-Rod refuses to eat clubhouse food after Betemit double-dip

A-Rod makes this face when he wants to look tough.

PITTSBURGH, PA -- Even though the Yankees hammered the Pirates 10-0 in Pittsburgh last night, it wasn't all smiles for the Bronx Bombers. After the game, an altercation started around [continue reading...]

Posted on June 26th, 2008

Yankees accidentally allow Chamberlain to finish his dinner

Joba Chamberlain likes to yell and scream… and eat.

NEW YORK CITY, NY -- Appearing at a rare press conference together with manager Joe Girardi, Yankees chairman Hank Steinbrenner revealed that star pitcher Joba Chamberlain had accidentally been allowed [continue reading...]

Posted on June 20th, 2008

Yankees to headline writers: Stop playing with our Wang

Look at the Yankees’ Wang! That’s a weird face on their Wang…

NEW YORK, NY -- Amid floods of sophomoric and juvenile headlines, the New York Yankees called a press conference today to hopefully stop the bevy of Wang references. "We get [continue reading...]

Posted on June 16th, 2008

Yankees to hold spring training in Baghdad

yankees_logo.jpg

NEW YORK, NY -- Citing a lack of conditioning and mental toughness as a root cause of their annual playoff failures, New York Yankees management has announced that this year, [continue reading...]

Posted on February 13th, 2008

Occultist worried third Boston World Series could wake the Babe

BRONX, NY -- Arnold Pencarne, an occult/memorabilia expert from the Bronx area, claims that if the Red Sox break the Curse of the Bambino a third time, it could result [continue reading...]

Posted on November 7th, 2007

Yankee fans who hated Girardi as a player expect to hate him as manager

NEW YORK, NY -- Thursday's announcement naming Joe Girardi as the manager of the Yankees was hit or miss for fans of the Bronx Bombers. "The bum was a .260 hitter [continue reading...]

Posted on November 5th, 2007

Bob Brenly’s aunt angrily cancels subscription to newspaper

MORRISTOWN, NJ -- Citing what she felt was an "extreme east coast bias," and "horrifically bad reporting," Nancy Brenly has officially informed the Newark Star-Ledger that she's no longer interested [continue reading...]

Posted on October 22nd, 2007


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