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Joe Buck Archives

In preseason douche poll, Lane Kiffin wins biggest douche in the SEC award, stunning the field

KNOXVILLE, TN -- The Lane Kiffin era in Tennessee is off to a better start than ever hoped, with the results of the conference's annual Preseason Douchebag Coach Poll being [continue reading...]

Posted on February 9th, 2009

2008 Top 20, #11: CBS announcer goes to ER after Tebowner lasts for more than four hours

ATLANTA, GA -- At approximately 11 pm Saturday night, CBS sports announcer Gary Danielson realized it was time to head for the emergency room. "Every single commercial for a male virility [continue reading...]

Posted on December 29th, 2008

CBS announcer goes to ER after Tebowner lasts for more than four hours

ATLANTA, GA -- At approximately 11 pm Saturday night, CBS sports announcer Gary Danielson realized it was time to head for the emergency room. "Every single commercial for a male virility [continue reading...]

Posted on December 7th, 2008

Joe Buck arrested outside of B.J. Upton’s hotel room holding a boombox over his head blaring Peter Gabriel’s “In Your Eyes”

PHILADELPHIA, PA -- When the Tampa Bay Rays decided to spend Wednesday night in Philadelphia, they knew they were taking a calculated risk. With their young team of burgeoning millionaires, [continue reading...]

Posted on October 30th, 2008

Without irony, McCarver refers to Buck as ‘pompous’

ST. LOUIS, MO -- Tim McCarver was just having a normal dinner conversation when someone asked him a question that changed the whole evening -- "What do you think of [continue reading...]

Posted on October 28th, 2008

BJ Upton plans on stealing 900 bases next year

PHILADELPHIA, PA -- Moments after BJ Upton prolonged the World Series by stealing second base and then scoring on a single to left, the Tampa Bay Rays centerfielder predicted that [continue reading...]

Posted on October 28th, 2008

B.J. Upton steals three bases and Joe Buck’s heart

PHILADELPHIA, PA -- With three swift stolen bases in the sixth and eighth innings, B.J. Upton stole the Tampa Bay Rays back into Saturday night's World Series game, and, more [continue reading...]

Posted on October 26th, 2008

Joe Buck walking around telling people about the significance of mundane events

LOS ANGELES and PHILADELPHIA -- Fox baseball announcer Joe Buck, overtaken with excitement about the National League Championship Series, has taken to describing the immense importance of ordinary events to [continue reading...]

Posted on October 14th, 2008

McCarver: I almost made it

NEW YORK, NY -- An extensive, week-long SSNN investigation has discovered that former catcher and current FOX broadcaster Tim McCarver almost stayed awake for all 15 innings of Major League [continue reading...]

Posted on July 25th, 2008

KGB ruins Buck’s attempt at “perfect broadcast”

GREEN BAY, WI -- In the flash of an instant, Kabeer Gbaja-Biamila came firing around left end, summarily planting Eli Manning on his face and dashing Joe Buck's shot at [continue reading...]

Posted on January 22nd, 2008

Buck to add endorsement

ST. LOUIS, MO -- Over the last several years, Joe Buck has become the standard in the broadcast booth thanks to a quick wit and an innate ability to make [continue reading...]

Posted on March 30th, 2007

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