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Jeff Kent Archives

Local man has to recalculate entire draft plan upon hearing of Kent’s retirement

TRENTON, N.J. -- The world of Jason Ruffalo was thrown into upheaval this week when mustachioed L.A. Dodger second sacker Jeff Kent announced his retirement from baseball. "I had Jeff [continue reading...]

Posted on January 22nd, 2009

Kent retires, much to nobody’s dismay

LOS ANGELES, CA -- A major hot stove story broke from the Los Angeles Dodgers today, where five-time All-Star and probable Hall-of-Famer Jeff Kent announced his retirement from Major League [continue reading...]

Posted on January 22nd, 2009

Man sends wife passive-aggressive trade offers in fantasy league following domestic dispute

HARRISBURG, PA -- David DelMonico, 44, thought that inviting his wife to join his fantasy league might be a bad idea when he extended the invite pre-season. "We've got a real [continue reading...]

Posted on August 31st, 2008

Jeff Kent shocker: mustache has always been fake

VERO BEACH, FL -- In one of the most shocking pieces of news to come out of spring training in years, SSNN has learned that Los Angeles Dodgers second baseman [continue reading...]

Posted on March 11th, 2008

Local man “pretty sure” he’ll win fantasy baseball league

MANHATTAN, NY -- Investment banker and avid fantasy baseball player Jason Ruffalo has told SSNN sources that he's the team to beat this year in his fantasy league. Ruffalo's prediction is [continue reading...]

Posted on March 6th, 2008

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