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Jason Varitek Archives

Red Sox “exhaustion plan” working to perfection

BOSTON, MA -- The Boston Red Sox have the Tampa Bay Rays exactly where they want them. "Yeah, our plan is working perfectly," said manager Terry Francona. "We came into this [continue reading...]

Posted on October 14th, 2008

Papelbon changes intro song from “Wild Thing” to “I Kissed a Girl”

BOSTON, MA—Jonathan Papelbon, all-star closer for the Red Sox has announced that he will change the song played when he leaves the bullpen from the Troggs' "Wild Thing" to Katy [continue reading...]

Posted on August 31st, 2008

Scratched DVD added to AL All-Stars

NEW YORK CITY, NY -- In a surprising turn of events, MLB has decided to add another roster player to the 2008 American League All-Star team. While most thought the [continue reading...]

Posted on July 10th, 2008

MRI discovers beer bottles, license plate in Youkilis’ beard

BOSTON, MA -- Boston Red Sox first baseman Kevin Youkilis went in for an MRI Tuesday on his injured right eye, but what doctors found – and where they found [continue reading...]

Posted on June 25th, 2008

Satan to lead Celtics victory parade, collect on debt of souls

BOSTON, MA -- In celebration of their first NBA championship in 22 years, the city of Boston has scheduled a victory parade for their beloved Celtics. The parade will be [continue reading...]

Posted on June 18th, 2008

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