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Isiah Thomas Archives
Satan to Yankees fans: “It’s out of my hands”
NEW YORK, NY -- Yankee fans woke up to horrifying news this morning, after Satan, Prince of Lies and Ruler of Darkness, gave a dour prognosis for the Bronx Bombers. [continue reading...]
Posted on August 28th, 2008
Electronic Arts announces recall, delayed release of NBA Live ‘09
REDWOOD CITY, CA -- Electronic Arts, maker of the EA Sports line of video games, announced today that they are pushing back the release of this year's version of their [continue reading...]
Posted on June 12th, 2008
Thomas vows to return Walsh’s calls eventually
NEW YORK, NY -- Isiah Thomas, head coach of the struggling New York Knicks, claims not to be deeply concerned about phone calls from new Knicks president Donnie Walsh. Despite his [continue reading...]
Posted on April 10th, 2008
Isiah “in” for Indiana job; school officials not amused
INDIANAPOLIS, IN -- When Tony Bennett formally removed himself from the running to be the next head basketball coach at Indiana University over the weekend, the decision was met with [continue reading...]
Posted on April 1st, 2008
Walsh out after embarrassing 4-game winning streak
INDIANAPOLIS, IN -- The Indiana Pacers have won four games in a row, and owners Herb and Mel Simon aren't happy about it. Sitting just a game and a half [continue reading...]
Posted on March 25th, 2008
Stern creating new postseason tournament
MEMPHIS, TN -- The Memphis Grizzlies have not won a single playoff game in their franchise's history. Since 2001, the New York Knicks have had a losing record every season [continue reading...]
Posted on March 21st, 2008
Isiah attempting to trade for Tiger
NEW YORK CITY, NY -- In an attempt to save the floundering New York Knicks, embattled coach Isiah Thomas has contacted representatives of the PGA Tour, and is attempting to [continue reading...]
Posted on March 13th, 2008
Skiles thankful for holiday firing
CHICAGO, IL – After spending Christmas Day with his family – who had traveled to Chicago for the occasion – fired Bulls coach Scott Skiles seemed to have gained fresh [continue reading...]
Posted on December 26th, 2007
Isiah trades Curry to Globetrotters for guy who throws confetti
NEW YORK CITY, NY -- Raising further questions about his ability as an NBA GM, Isiah Thomas made another controversial move today when he traded center Eddy Curry to the [continue reading...]
Posted on December 9th, 2007
Knicks to stage mock presidential debate
NEW YORK, NY -- Almost as soon as the idea came forth, Isiah Thomas called "dibbs!" "I got Barack Obama," Thomas shouted nearly instantly after the New York Knicks decided they [continue reading...]
Posted on December 6th, 2007
Pamela Anderson named new Knicks assistant
NEW YORK, NY -- New York Knicks GM Isiah Thomas announced today that the embattled franchise has hired Pamela Anderson as its new marketing director, replacing Anucha Brown Sanders. Sanders, [continue reading...]
Posted on October 25th, 2007
Local sportscaster’s absurd prediction made boldly
NEW YORK, NY -- While co-hosting the 1-4 PM EST time slot on ESPN radio – formerly held by Dan Patrick – New York Yankees announcer Michael Kay made an [continue reading...]
Posted on August 24th, 2007
Blazers trade top pick, avoid responsibility
PORTLAND, OR -- The Portland Trailblazers announced late Tuesday that they plan to trade the number one overall draft pick to the New York. It has been a forgone conclusion [continue reading...]
Posted on June 27th, 2007
Chandler to enter draft
CHICAGO, IL -- DePaul sophomore Wilson Chandler announced last week that he will declare himself eligible for the 2007 NBA Draft. The 6-8 forward led the Blue Demons in points, rebounds [continue reading...]
Posted on April 15th, 2007
Knicks try new approach with Curry
NEW YORK, NY -- Since the day he was drafted by the Chicago Bulls in 2001, expectations have been high for Eddy Curry. His imposing size and obvious physical ability [continue reading...]
Posted on April 3rd, 2007
Thomas planning more additions
NEW YORK, NY -- In a strange move late last week, the New York Knicks signed Randolph Morris directly out of the University of Kentucky. "Man is this cool," general [continue reading...]
Posted on March 26th, 2007
Thomas gets New York ‘Day’
NEW YORK, NY -- Less than two weeks after receiving an extension as president and head coach for the Knicks, Isiah Thomas will have a day named for him by [continue reading...]
Posted on March 22nd, 2007
Isiah Thomas on NBA luxury tax: “I had no idea it existed”
NEW YORK -- Only a few days after Jamal Crawford's season-ending stress fracture – and only one day after his absence contributed to a loss at the hands of the [continue reading...]
Posted on March 2nd, 2007
First dunk contest attempt to come early
LAS VEGAS, NV -- The start of the first round of the NBA's All-Star Slam Dunk contest has been re-scheduled. According to an official statement released by the league office [continue reading...]
Posted on February 6th, 2007
Isiah wants credit for Nuggets
NEW YORK, NY -- Claiming he "was the one who came up with the idea of fielding a team that would need three basketballs to get the shots they want," [continue reading...]
Posted on January 23rd, 2007
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