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Iraq Archives

Man basically staring at Cole Hamels’ Wikipedia page all day

PHILADELPHIA, PA—Area man Steven Kensworth, has, according to friends and coworkers basically been staring at Cole Hamels’ Wikipedia article for the better part of the last two weeks, and [continue reading...]

Posted on November 22nd, 2008

Bush leaving work early to watch MLB playoffs

WASHINGTON, DC -- U.S. President George W. Bush announced that he's finishing work at 3:00 pm eastern time today, in plenty of time to get over to the residence and [continue reading...]

Posted on October 1st, 2008

Clinton selects Lenny Dykstra as running mate

PHILADELPHIA, PA -- Hoping to regain the upper hand in the fight for the Democratic presidential nomination, Hillary Clinton today selected former Philadelphia Phillies outfielder Lenny Dykstra as her running [continue reading...]

Posted on March 20th, 2008

Yankees to hold spring training in Baghdad

NEW YORK, NY -- Citing a lack of conditioning and mental toughness as a root cause of their annual playoff failures, New York Yankees management has announced that this year, [continue reading...]

Posted on February 13th, 2008

FROM THE ARCHIVES: Even God sick of Clemens udpates

As Roger Clemens has become overexposed in the media yet again, SSNN revisits a classic from May 2007, when everyone was sick of the Rocket. HEAVEN -- Apparently humans are [continue reading...]

Posted on February 13th, 2008

Dubya places misguided congratulatory call to Patriots

WASHINGTON D.C.- As George "Dubya" Bush limps towards the final stage of his presidency, he will face what is sure to be less-than-pleasant response from the New York Giant faithful. [continue reading...]

Posted on February 4th, 2008

U.S. hires Bill Belichick to clean up Iraq

BAGHDAD--Hoping to restructure and strengthen American and Iraqi Defenses, the US Government announced that it will send Bill Belichick to Iraq at the end of [continue reading...]

Posted on October 18th, 2007

Bush makes surprise visit to Iraq, attends fantasy football draft in person

ANBAR PROVINCE, IRAQ -- En route to a summit in Sydney, Australia, U.S. President George W. Bush stopped over in Iraq for a surprise visit, and attended his fantasy football [continue reading...]

Posted on September 7th, 2007

Walton headed for Congress

WASHINGTON D.C. -- An unusual request – from Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell, R-Kentucky – sent former UCLA superstar and current NBA commentator Bill Walton straight to Washington, D.C. early [continue reading...]

Posted on May 1st, 2007

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