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IOC Archives

2012 London Olympics to be made in China

ZURICH, SWITZERLAND - In a only semi-shocking announcement, IOC President Jacque Rogge announced that while the "2012 Olympics would be held in London, they would be 100% Made in China." Rogge [continue reading...]

Posted on November 21st, 2008

IOC also strips Jones of steroids-induced mustache

FORT WORTH, TX -- The IOC has ruled today that in addition to giving up her Olympic medals former track star Marion Jones must also relinquish "any and all residual [continue reading...]

Posted on April 14th, 2008

IOC to move games to American heartland

LAUSANNE, SWITZERLAND -- The International Olympic Committee announced from its headquarters Tuesday that a number of high-ranking members, including President Jacques Rogge, have unanimously voted to remove the upcoming Olympic [continue reading...]

Posted on March 19th, 2008

Marion Jones’ name to be removed from phone book, high school yearbook and family tree

AUSTIN, TX -- As further punishment for her use of performance-enhancing drugs and the constant denials that followed, fallen track star Marion Jones has seen a number of entities join [continue reading...]

Posted on November 30th, 2007

Marion Jones stripped of medal for pine tar infraction

LAUSANNE, SWITZERLAND -- In an altogether unprecedented and completely shocking development, U.S. Olympic sprinter Marion Jones has been stripped of her relay gold medal from the 2000 Sydney [continue reading...]

Posted on October 6th, 2007

Dancing, singing added to 2008 Olympics

BEIJING, CHINA -- With the 2008 Summer Olympics in Beijing just over a year away, the International Olympic Committee (IOC) has made two additions to the roster of events – [continue reading...]

Posted on May 27th, 2007

IOC announces Spring Break Olympics

LAUSANNE, SWITZERLAND -- Spring Break has become an important part of American culture, and it will now be something the entire world can celebrate. The International Olympic Committee said Thursday [continue reading...]

Posted on March 16th, 2007

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