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Houston Astros Archives
HOUSTON, TX -- Mike Hampton crumbled to the ground in pain Monday while signing a contract with the Houston Astros. "Hammy had just finished signing his name to the multi-year, [continue reading...]
Posted on December 1st, 2008
HOUSTON, MILWAUKEE, NEW YORK, and PHILADELPHIA -- Bud Selig, apparently feeling "really bad" after ruining the Astros season last week and then demonstrating a total and complete double standard this [continue reading...]
Posted on September 25th, 2008
HOUSTON, TX -- As many Houston Astros players and fans express their outrage at Bud Selig's decision to force the Astros to play two makeup "home games" in Milwaukee, Selig [continue reading...]
Posted on September 22nd, 2008

NEW YORK, NY -- As the professional baseball owners gather to consider instant replay, SSNN has learned that many of the owners are interested in using the technology to take [continue reading...]
Posted on August 19th, 2008

HOUSTON, TX -- Astros Owner Drayton McLane and General Manager Ed Wade hung their heads in collective sorrow at a news conference this morning from the Astros Press Room. "Carlos [continue reading...]
Posted on August 13th, 2008

ST LOUIS, MO -- In a move designed to keep up with their National League Central rivals, the St. Louis Cardinals announced today that Hall of Fame pitcher Bob Gibson [continue reading...]
Posted on July 12th, 2008

NEW YORK CITY, NY -- In a surprising turn of events, MLB has decided to add another roster player to the 2008 American League All-Star team. While most thought the [continue reading...]
Posted on July 10th, 2008

HOUSTON, TX -- After an altercation with general manager Ed Wade led to his being cut, former Houston Astros pitcher Shawn Chacon is trading in the Major League Baseball diamond [continue reading...]
Posted on June 27th, 2008

NEW YORK CITY, NY -- After ace pitcher Chien-Ming Wang suffered an injured foot during yesterday's game in Houston against the Astros, New York Yankees boss Hank Steinbrenner has filed [continue reading...]
Posted on June 16th, 2008

NEW YORK, NY -- Amid floods of sophomoric and juvenile headlines, the New York Yankees called a press conference today to hopefully stop the bevy of Wang references. "We get [continue reading...]
Posted on June 16th, 2008

HOUSTON, TX -- Houston Astros owner Drayton McLane announced today that he would be adding new features to Minute Maid Park in order to bolster sagging attendance. "We're very excited about [continue reading...]
Posted on June 11th, 2008
BOSTON, MA -- M.I.T. mathematics professor James A. Howard has come up with a formula to determine the real age of Dominican-born Major Leaguers. An avid baseball fan, Professor Howard was [continue reading...]
Posted on June 3rd, 2008
NEW YORK, NY – In an unprecedented move, management from four of the teams within the National League Central Division have petitioned MLB commissioner Bud Selig to allow their teams [continue reading...]
Posted on May 12th, 2008
WASHINGTON, DC -- A slumping Ryan Zimmerman blasted two home runs off of Houston ace Roy Oswalt Wednesday, a breakout performance after a terrible start to the season for the [continue reading...]
Posted on May 10th, 2008
Jimmy Kimmel has been lying to us all along!
Posted on May 6th, 2008
HOUSTON, TX – What was one of the feel-good stories of this baseball season – Miguel Tejada promising a young boy he would hit a home run on Saturday, a [continue reading...]
Posted on May 6th, 2008

HOUSTON, TX -- When Houston Astros shortstop Miguel Tejada was signed by the Oakland Athletics in 1993, he told team officials he was 17. But Tejada now admits he was [continue reading...]
Posted on April 18th, 2008

HOUSTON, TX -- An embarrassed Houston Astros front office issued a statement today apologizing for a promotion gone awry. The club gave away free syringes to the first 1,500 kids [continue reading...]
Posted on April 10th, 2008

HOUSTON, TX -- Michael Bourn is out of control. What began as an innocent comment from Houston Astros manager Cecil Cooper during a spring training game has led to the [continue reading...]
Posted on April 7th, 2008

KISSIMMEE, FL -- Kaz Matsui thought he had heard it all. Taunts of being too small, too un-American, and too Japanese to hit a fastball have been the norm during [continue reading...]
Posted on March 28th, 2008
It’s going to be tough for this sport to sweep any nations, but it’s still pretty frickin’ cool!
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