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homosexuality Archives

Jeff Garcia not thrilled about being player’s association gay rep

NEW YORK, NY -- When the NFL Players' Association decided that it needed to represent its minority player groups a bit better, most of the players in the league agreed [continue reading...]

Posted on November 23rd, 2008

Travis Henry: “I’m Not the Father of Clay Aiken’s Baby”

SOMEWHERE IN THE UNITED STATES -- Travis Henry surfaced from his forced retirement to clarify some issues these week regarding Clay Aiken's homosexuality and child. "I know it came out that [continue reading...]

Posted on September 25th, 2008

Clay Aiken admits he loves hockey

WEST HOLLYWOOD, CA—Saying he was “tired of living a lie” and that he “needed to be honest for the sake of [his] newborn son” pop superstar Clay Aiken admitted to [continue reading...]

Posted on September 24th, 2008

Local man can’t quite explain why he wants to see Chris Cooley’s schlong so badly

TOWSON, MD -- Local Redskins fan John Simpson is a bit confused today after spending a solid four hours searching online for a picture of Chris Cooley's schlong. "I'm not gay," [continue reading...]

Posted on September 17th, 2008

Brady, Moss caught playing ‘Screw, Marry, Kill’ with Lynch, O’Neal, and Hobbs

FOXBORO, MA—Scandal erupted in Patriots training camp yesterday when members of the media walked in on pro-bowlers Tom Brady and Randy Moss engaging in the game known as “Screw, marry, [continue reading...]

Posted on September 2nd, 2008

Todd Jones cries and hugs men; teammates say it was “really gay”

DETROIT, MI -- Many members of the Detroit Tigers report that during Todd Jones' emotional farewell from the team, in which he hugged many of his teammates and cried, there [continue reading...]

Posted on August 29th, 2008

Women’s gymnastics top-rated program among men 34-55 fitting FBI pedophile profile

This Johnson-Liukin hug was a hot moment for pedophiles.

NEW YORK, NY -- The Nielsen Media Research Corporation has announced the ratings results of last week's Olympic games. The top-rated sport this time around was swimming – this came as [continue reading...]

Posted on August 26th, 2008

Ramirez plans to become gay porn star

Manny’s trademark dreads should help him in his gay porn career.

HOLLYWOOD, CA -- Looking to capitalize on his new locale, Manny Ramirez told SSNN he is hoping to get into the gay porn industry. The latest addition to the Los Angeles [continue reading...]

Posted on August 4th, 2008

A-Rod’s heart touched by Katy Perry single

A-Rod is presumably preparing to kiss someone, possibly with cherry chapstick

NEW YORK CITY, NY -- With the New York Yankees hovering in third place in the AL East, 5.5 games behind the surging Tampa Bay Rays, Alex Rodriguez has been [continue reading...]

Posted on June 30th, 2008

Bradley dotting I’s with hearts in attempt to soften image

This man dots his I’s with hearts… hee hee

ARLINGTON, TX -- Still plagued by many of the image problems that have handcuffed his career, Milton Bradley has taken a drastic new course. According to recent reports from Texas, Bradley [continue reading...]

Posted on June 24th, 2008

Jeter, Giambi claim thong sharing part of Sex in the City promotion

NEW YORK CITY, NY -- After word leaked that the pair often share a gold thong to "bust slumps," New York Yankees Derek Jeter and Jason Giambi said it was [continue reading...]

Posted on May 20th, 2008

Wizards win “Gayest Name in NBA” again

WASHINGTON, DC -- For the fifth consecutive year, the Washington Wizards have won the "Gayest Name in the NBA" award, league sources have told SSNN. The selection will become official [continue reading...]

Posted on April 28th, 2008

Long to Seacrest: Stay away from Bradshaw

GLENDALE, AZ -- The disgustingly playful connection between Howie Long and Terry Bradshaw was immediately apparent from the moment the two Hall-of-Famers took the same stage in 1993, when Fox [continue reading...]

Posted on January 31st, 2008

Awkward mistletoe encounter threatens Patriots’ chemistry

FOXBORO, MA -- For the New England Patriots, a team that has relied on such precision timing and an uncanny ability to avoid trouble for the past four months, Wednesday [continue reading...]

Posted on December 20th, 2007

Holliday’s behavior "just childish," Rockies say

DENVER, CO -- Matt Holliday won't stop pinching teammates and making ambiguously erotic comments about dreams, several members of the Rockies reported Tuesday. "It has gotten pretty bad," said [continue reading...]

Posted on October 2nd, 2007

NFL reviews confiscated tape, won’t penalize Pats

NEW YORK, NY -- Almost as soon as the spy camera scandal began, the National Football League put it bed. A source close to the league said that after careful [continue reading...]

Posted on September 11th, 2007

Baseball geek in Detroit has erotic dream about Rick Porcello

DETROIT, MI -- John Marshall, a 19-year old Detroit native, awoke Thursday morning feeling spry, as usual, until a creeping feeling got the best of him. "You know how sometimes [continue reading...]

Posted on August 16th, 2007

Gay asserts heterosexuality

BALTIMORE, MD -- World class sprinter Tyson Gay has blazed his way onto the sporting scene with impressive performances in the 100 and 200 meter dashes, winning at such prestigious [continue reading...]

Posted on July 19th, 2007

Coco Crisp cereal conundrum

BOSTON, MA -- Boston Red Sox center fielder Coco Crisp is set to launch a new breakfast cereal to benefit longtime Red Sox-associated cancer research charity The Jimmy Fund. There's [continue reading...]

Posted on June 22nd, 2007

NBA trades Hardaway for more open-minded ex-player

MIAMI, FL -- After making headlines across the country for homophobic comments, ex-NBA player Tim Hardaway was "traded" for a player that can represent the NBA in a manner more [continue reading...]

Posted on March 7th, 2007