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home runs Archives

Sosa: “See, that corked bat thing doesn’t look so bad now, does it?”

CHICAGO, IL—Amid revelations that he tested positive for performance-enhancing drugs in 2003, Sammy Sosa took the opportunity yesterday to address different allegations, specifically those that arose after he was discovered [continue reading...]

Posted on June 17th, 2009

Tell-all book reveals McGwire took steroids, had facial hair, played for Cardinals

ST. LOUIS -- A tell-all book by controversial slugger Mark McGwire’s estranged brother Jay is being met with interest by the sporting world thanks to the revelation that the book [continue reading...]

Posted on January 24th, 2009

Local man has to recalculate entire draft plan upon hearing of Kent’s retirement

TRENTON, N.J. -- The world of Jason Ruffalo was thrown into upheaval this week when mustachioed L.A. Dodger second sacker Jeff Kent announced his retirement from baseball. "I had Jeff [continue reading...]

Posted on January 22nd, 2009

2008 Top 20, #12: Local economic development professional boldly predicts 40-homer softball season

WENTZVILLE, MO -- Local economic development professional Jonathan Daulton, 30, is very excited about his forthcoming softball season, according to neighbors. "I was just standing, waiting for the bus the [continue reading...]

Posted on December 29th, 2008

Ryan Howard is nailing chicks as if he won the MVP

PHILADELPHIA, PA -- Albert Pujols may have the National League MVP trophy, but Ryan Howard is absolutely nailing chicks like he's the NLMVP. "He's definitely exhibiting some MVP-level sexuality right now," [continue reading...]

Posted on November 21st, 2008

Manny Ramirez always rounds up

Man-Ram has his own special rules of mathematics.

BOSTON, MA -- Manny Ramirez raised some eyebrows this week when he stated that he has "nearly 2000 RBIs," since a quick check of his career statistics shows that he's [continue reading...]

Posted on July 28th, 2008

Cynthia Rodriguez seeking half in divorce filing

C-Rod hopes to be the next great power/speed prospect in MLB…

MIAMI, FL -- Citing irreconcilable differences, Cynthia Rodriguez has filed for divorce from New York Yankee Alex Rodriguez, seeking half of her husband's money and assets, including at least half [continue reading...]

Posted on July 7th, 2008

Ken Griffey, Jr. reaches 600

Griffey shows off his “I’m about to get injured” face

MIAMI, FL – Cincinnati Reds outfielder Ken Griffey, Jr. celebrated hitting his 600th career home run this week, becoming the sixth player in history and third in the last six [continue reading...]

Posted on June 11th, 2008

Tejada delivers on promise to hit home run for 34 year old boy

HOUSTON, TX – What was one of the feel-good stories of this baseball season – Miguel Tejada promising a young boy he would hit a home run on Saturday, a [continue reading...]

Posted on May 6th, 2008

Local economic development professional boldly predicts 40-homer softball season

Posted on April 28th, 2008

FROM THE ARCHIVES: Bonds to take time off

Clearly Barry thought better of this idea last year, as he ended up playing almost the whole season. But there's still time to go back and get that chemistry degree. [continue reading...]

Posted on December 14th, 2007

Juan Pierre not named in Mitchell Report

LOS ANGELES, CA -- While many around baseball expressed consternation and dismay over the release of the Mitchell Report – George Mitchell's in-depth investigation of steroid use in [continue reading...]

Posted on December 13th, 2007

Manny Ramirez completes 13 home run trots Sunday after mundane activities

BOSTON, MA -- Even before the door to the mailbox swung shut, Manny Ramirez knew his letter was gone. The slugger raised his arms directly in the air, let out a [continue reading...]

Posted on October 21st, 2007

Alex Rodriguez to become singles hitter, will work on it during playoffs

BRONX, NY -- Yankees third baseman and surefire 2007 MVP Alex Rodriguez has decided that he's going to become a spray hitter in 2008, and will work on [continue reading...]

Posted on September 19th, 2007

Thome just happy 500^th homer wasn’t boring

CHICAGO, IL -- Jim Thome's walk-off 500th homer left the Sunday afternoon U.S. Cellular field crowd in hysterics, the White Sox victorious, and the slugging superstar relieved."I just [continue reading...]

Posted on September 17th, 2007

Selig to watch record broken at home in HD

NEW YORK, NY -- MLB Commissioner Bud Selig announced today that he will not attend historic slugger Barry Bonds' record-breaking home run game, but that he will honor the event [continue reading...]

Posted on July 20th, 2007

Not everyone boycotting Bonds’ big bash

ATLANTA, GA -- While many in the baseball world – including commissioner Bud Selig and Current Home Run King Hank Aaron – have said that they will not attend the [continue reading...]

Posted on June 4th, 2007

Bonds “bringing jerk back”

SAN FRANSISCO, CA -- After revealing earlier this month that he may not share souvenirs from his home run chase with the Hall of Fame, Barry Bonds explained his motives. [continue reading...]

Posted on May 29th, 2007

Bonds enters supplement market

SAN FRANCISCO, CA -- As Barry Bonds inches closer to the all-time home run record, little leaguers across the country are hoping to be just like him when they grow [continue reading...]

Posted on May 23rd, 2007

Greek gods protesting baseball season

MOUNT OLYMPUS, GREECE -- A group of ancient Greek gods announced Saturday that they are protesting the 2007 Major League Baseball season. The gods explained that they are the reason [continue reading...]

Posted on April 7th, 2007