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HGH Archives
Reporter develops new “on steroids” game for A-Rod, kind of like “in bed” with fortune cookies
SOMEWHERE IN FLORIDA -- In an amazing development of modern journalism, reporter Michael Terwilliger of SSNN's Palm Beach, Fla. satellite office has developed an amazing game. "It's just like the fortune [continue reading...]
Posted on February 27th, 2009
American public still under impression baseball players of old wouldn’t have used steroids
NEW YORK, NY—A recent poll conducted by Major League Baseball and ESPN in the wake of the firestorm of controversy following Alex Rodriguez’s admission of steroid use during his [continue reading...]
Posted on February 12th, 2009
Dominican baseballer A-Rod responds to charges — “No hablo Ingles.”
NEW YORK -- Controversy exploded this weekend when Dominican-American baseballer Alex Rodriguez was accused of using steroids. Rodriguez, widely considered the greatest player in the game, went into seclusion virtually immediately. [continue reading...]
Posted on February 9th, 2009
Tell-all book reveals McGwire took steroids, had facial hair, played for Cardinals
ST. LOUIS -- A tell-all book by controversial slugger Mark McGwire’s estranged brother Jay is being met with interest by the sporting world thanks to the revelation that the book [continue reading...]
Posted on January 24th, 2009
Lance Armstrong goes for bike ride in France, ends up unretired
PARIS, FRANCE—A pleasant bikeride through the Parisian countryside quickly became awkward for Lance Armstrong, when rumors began to spread that the famous cyclist was returning to professional competition. “I thought [continue reading...]
Posted on September 11th, 2008
Steroid prices to reach all-time high as demand increases
NEW YORK, NY -- Wall Street analysts are predicting a steep increase in the price of anabolic steroids worldwide due to increased demand this summer, with some market watchers are [continue reading...]
Posted on July 11th, 2008
Clemens issues denial of future allegations
HOUSTON, TX -- Roger Clemens and his attorneys issued a statement today in which the fallen star denied any and all future allegations that may be made against him. Clemens – [continue reading...]
Posted on May 7th, 2008
Canseco claims to have injected Barbaro and Seabiscuit with HGH
MIAMI, FL -- A chapter in former slugger Jose Canseco's new book Vindicated alleges new steroid claims, moving from the baseball world into that of competitive horse racing. Canseco, airing [continue reading...]
Posted on May 1st, 2008
Improved HGH test jeopardizes Olympics
BEIJING, CHINA – The World Anti-Doping Agency announced today that new HGH testing kits will be given out to various testing labs in preparation for the 2008 Beijing Olympic Games. [continue reading...]
Posted on April 4th, 2008
Waitress says Clemens is terrible tipper
HOUSTON, TX -- A waitress is furious after she claimed Roger Clemens left her a vial of an unidentified substance instead of cash for a tip. Twenty-two year-old Sara Nelson, [continue reading...]
Posted on March 3rd, 2008
Clemens takes steroids to prepare for angrier denials
HOUSTON, TX -- With his deposition to the House Committee on Oversight and Government Reform set for Saturday, Jan. 26, Roger Clemens is in the middle of a strict steroid [continue reading...]
Posted on January 22nd, 2008
Anderson, McNamee ties may go beyond steroids
SAN FRANCISCO, CA -- A new and exciting twist has evolved in the saga that is steroid use in Major League Baseball, involving two of its most pertinent personas. In [continue reading...]
Posted on January 9th, 2008
Clemens to 60 Minutes: Injections were not steroids
NEW YORK--An embattled Roger Clemens told 60 minutes this week that the injections he received from his former trainer were not steroids or human growth hormone, as has been widely [continue reading...]
Posted on January 3rd, 2008
Bonds tells judge he’ll keep lawyers
SAN FRANCISCO, CA -- Barry Bonds told a federal judge today that he'd like to hold on to two members of his legal staff, even though they've represented witnesses against [continue reading...]
Posted on December 21st, 2007
Mr. Met denies steroid allegations
FLUSHING, NY -- In the wake of his surprising mention in the Mitchell Report, New York Mets mascot Mr. Met categorically denied using performance-enhancing drugs in 2003 and claims never [continue reading...]
Posted on December 21st, 2007
Radomski files suit for name rights
NEW YORK CITY, NY -- Almost immediately after the release of the Mitchell Report on steroids and performance-enhancing drugs in Major League Baseball, former Mets' clubhouse attendant Kirk [continue reading...]
Posted on December 13th, 2007
Bonds furious over attention paid to McGwire and Sosa after release of Mitchell Report
SAN FRANCISCO, CA -- Despite the widespread media attention he has received as a result of the federal investigation into his relationship with BALCO, Barry Bonds was livid [continue reading...]
Posted on December 13th, 2007
Local fantasy owner files protest seeking money back, championship trophies
SANTA CLARA, CA -- Accountant John Donovan is furious today at what he perceives to be "gross injustices" in the way that the Santa Clara Fantasy Baseball Association has handled [continue reading...]
Posted on December 13th, 2007
Selig hoping steroid report arrives in time to ruin holidays
MILWAUKEE, WI -- Under direct orders from MLB Commissioner Bud Selig, the results of the George Mitchell probe investigating the alleged use of steroids in baseball should arrive just in [continue reading...]
Posted on December 6th, 2007
LaRussa blames DUI on supplements from Ankiel
WEST PALM BEACH, FL -- Cardinals Manager Tony LaRussa pleaded guilty this week to a DUI charge stemming from an incident that occurred during spring training eight months ago. At [continue reading...]
Posted on December 2nd, 2007
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