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guns Archives

Plaxico attempts “shot therapy” to get back into lineup

NEW YORK, NY -- Plaxico Burress announced he's going to undergo a series of "shot therapy" treatments in hopes of getting himself back into the lineup for the New York [continue reading...]

Posted on December 1st, 2008

Pacman to Ditka: “From my cold, dead hands!”

NEW YORK, NY -- Mike Ditka’s made an unusual—and probably unconstitutional—suggestion on "NFL Countdown" yesterday that the NFL should bar all players from owning guns, following Plaxico Burress’ arrest following [continue reading...]

Posted on December 1st, 2008

Harrison seeks legal advice from Lewis, Simpson

PHILADELPHIA, PA -- Under investigation regarding his involvement in a Philadelphia shooting, Indianapolis Colts' wide receiver Marvin Harrison is not taking any chances. An anonymous source close to the Pro Bowler [continue reading...]

Posted on June 29th, 2008

Harrison admits to vigilante activities

PHILADELPHIA, PA -- A recent shooting near one of his Philadelphia-area businesses has forced Colts wide receiver Marvin Harrison to reveal his secretive off-field life. Harrison told reporters today that [continue reading...]

Posted on May 9th, 2008

Dallas strip clubs arm security in anticipation of Pacman’s arrival

DALLAS, TX – Adam "Pacman" Jones will arrive in Dallas this season as the Cowboys' newest cornerback, and the locals are preparing. Strip clubs in the Dallas-Fort Worth area have [continue reading...]

Posted on April 29th, 2008

Chasing TV ratings, BASS fishermen to start using rifles

CELEBRATION, FL -- In recent years, Bassmaster's world headquarters in Celebration, Florida have been the host of many meetings of top company officials, trying to figure out how to make [continue reading...]

Posted on April 15th, 2008

Fan says he was greeted by former NFL commish at Wal-Mart

VIRGINIA BEACH, VA -- Terry McCulloch refers to himself as nothing short of a die-hard football fan, and says his Sundays from early September clear through January are spent surfing [continue reading...]

Posted on March 25th, 2008

Tank Johnson to sign autographs at Dallas Gun Show

DALLAS, TX -- Even though Tank Johnson has not yet played a down with his new team, he is already clearly a part of the Dallas Cowboys organization. Team owner [continue reading...]

Posted on October 19th, 2007

O’Neal calls cops, gets arrested

INDIANAPOLIS, IN -- Police responded to an anonymous report of "a big ol' black dude wavin' a gat around" in the parking lot of Indianapolis' Club Rio strip club late [continue reading...]

Posted on May 12th, 2007

Tank Johnson pleads not guilty: “I did way more stuff than that!”

GURNEE, IL -- Embattled Chicago Bears defensive tackle Tank Johnson pled not guilty to ten counts of possession of illegal firearms Tuesday, telling a judge that the charge was incomplete [continue reading...]

Posted on January 9th, 2007

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