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French Open Archives

Nadal proposes that Wimbledon final renamed, played in a better location

WIMBLEDON -- SSNN has learned that Rafael Nadal has made an unusual request on the eve of his Wimbledon finals date with Roger Federer. According to sources, Nadal has requested [continue reading...]

Posted on July 5th, 2008

Federer tears ACL

ALL ENGLAND LAWN TENNIS AND CROQUET CLUB -- Reports from Wimbledon indicate that Roger Federer has torn his ACL prior to the finale of the annual lawn tennis tournament. Apparently, Federer [continue reading...]

Posted on July 4th, 2008

Sharapova’s screams cause Louvre Pyramid to shatter

This once-beautiful pyramid is now shattered to bits

PARIS, FRANCE -- Maria Sharapova is known for many things – her tennis game, her beauty… and her mid-swing screaming. During matches, the Russian is known for yelling and grunting at [continue reading...]

Posted on June 3rd, 2008

Federer fighting through allergies to clay, the French

PARIS, FRANCE -- After years of struggles on clay courts – and particularly in the French Open – Men's Tennis World No. 1 Roger Federer believes this could be his [continue reading...]

Posted on May 28th, 2008

Noah too high to understand charges against son

Yannick Noah is almost certainly high in this picture

PARIS, FRANCE -- For all their strange behavior – and stranger hair – it seems that at least one age-old maxim applies to the Noah family: like father, like son. [continue reading...]

Posted on May 27th, 2008

Roddick finds way to avoid first-round upset

Andy Roddick – likely as dumb as he looks

GUYANCOURT, FRANCE -- It appears that tennis star Andy Roddick has finally found a way to avoid underachieving in Grand Slam events. Roddick, who has consistently lost to inferior opponents [continue reading...]

Posted on May 20th, 2008

Martina Hingis retires after argument over white lines

ZURICH, SWITZERLAND -- Former French Open Champion Martina Hingis abruptly retired from professional tennis on Thursday amid reports she tested positive for cocaine use at Wimbledon this past summer. On [continue reading...]

Posted on November 1st, 2007

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