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free agency Archives

Manny Ramirez can’t stop talking about “difficult economic times”

LOS ANGELES, CA—No one is safe from economic hardships these days, not even the multi-billion dollar sports industry. Players, coaches, and owners alike have all felt the pinch of the [continue reading...]

Posted on February 4th, 2009

Suddenly feeling very poor, Jeter mails in gold gloves to be melted down for extra cash

NEW YORK CITY, NY -- After watching his team commit a total of more than $420 million to free agents in the offseason, New York Yankees stalwart captain and shortstop [continue reading...]

Posted on January 9th, 2009

Packers, fans reeling from personnel losses

GREEN BAY, WI -- Clint Wheeler has been a Packers fan his entire life, and a season-ticket holder for the past 20 years. Needless to say, it has been a [continue reading...]

Posted on March 19th, 2008

Faneca says little known skill helped in contract negotiation

LAMAR, TX -- Alan Faneca recently became the highest-paid offensive lineman in NFL history when he signed a four-year contract with a Jets team that struggled mightily last season, particularly [continue reading...]

Posted on March 18th, 2008

FROM THE ARCHIVES: A-Rod torturing Jeter over dinner tab

As A-Rod prepares himself for an offseason of criticism and mockery, we pile on with a classic from earlier this year. BRONX, NY -- Citing an agonizingly annoying three months, [continue reading...]

Posted on November 12th, 2007

Schilling’s wife learns of planned sexual activity from blog

BOSTON, MA -- Browsing through the many blog feeds on her Google home page, Shonda Schilling recently read that's she'll soon be the object of her husband's sexual desire. Red [continue reading...]

Posted on November 2nd, 2007

Scott Boras announces Corey Patterson signing during sex with wife

BALTIMORE, MD -- During a romantic sexual interlude with his wife Jeanette last night, baseball super-agent Scott Boras announced that free agent Corey Patterson agreed to a 1 year, $4.3 [continue reading...]

Posted on November 1st, 2007

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