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France declares war on Detroit Lions, ends 120-year losing streak

DETROIT, MI—Lions officials are reeling today after a surprise attack by France, in which French forces besieged and captured all Lions property within the city of Detroit. French paratroopers landed [continue reading...]

Posted on January 7th, 2009

Lance Armstrong goes for bike ride in France, ends up unretired

PARIS, FRANCE—A pleasant bikeride through the Parisian countryside quickly became awkward for Lance Armstrong, when rumors began to spread that the famous cyclist was returning to professional competition. “I thought [continue reading...]

Posted on September 11th, 2008

Stuart Scott seeking advanced degree in hopes of jumpstarting career

Will Scott be able to read in French with that messed up eye?

BRISTOL, CT -- Aware that his career may have stalled somewhat and that he's in need of a bit of a shake-up, ESPN SportsCenter anchor Stuart Scott has enrolled in [continue reading...]

Posted on August 22nd, 2008

Lezak outduels Bernard in Beijing lunchroom

Michael Phelps cheers as Jason Lezak snags final banana in Beijing lunchroom.

BEIJING, CHINA -- Although from 30 yards away it appeared a near impossibility, somehow American swimmer Jason Lezak managed to outreach French swimmer Alain Bernard for the final banana in [continue reading...]

Posted on August 11th, 2008

Federer fighting through allergies to clay, the French

R-Fed is battling allergies

PARIS, FRANCE -- After years of struggles on clay courts – and particularly in the French Open – Men's Tennis World No. 1 Roger Federer believes this could be his [continue reading...]

Posted on May 28th, 2008


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