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Football Archives
Shawne Merriman cleared to play after fifth opinion from Dr. Dre
SAN DIEGO, CA -- Shawne Merriman has been officially cleared to play this weekend after seeking a fifth and final medical opinion from Dr. Dre. "I went to four doctors, and [continue reading...]
Posted on September 5th, 2008
St. Louis Cardinals bench Matt Leinart
ST. LOUIS, MO -- St. Louis Cardinals manager Tony LaRussa shocked the world today by announcing that he was proactively benching Matt Leinart in favor of and older, more experienced [continue reading...]
Posted on September 4th, 2008
Brady, Moss caught playing ‘Screw, Marry, Kill’ with Lynch, O’Neal, and Hobbs
FOXBORO, MA—Scandal erupted in Patriots training camp yesterday when members of the media walked in on pro-bowlers Tom Brady and Randy Moss engaging in the game known as “Screw, marry, [continue reading...]
Posted on September 2nd, 2008
Transcript of an audio recording capturing an exchange between Ken Whisenhunt and Kurt Warner of the Arizona Cardinals
[The following is an audio recording capturing an exchange between Arizona Cardinals head coach Ken Whisenhunt and Cardinals QB Kurt Warner] Kurt Warner: “Hey coach…” Ken Whisenhunt: “Hey Kurt, how’s [continue reading...]
Posted on September 2nd, 2008
Thomas absolutely wrecking Edwards in WordTwist on Facebook
CLEVELAND, OH -- Joe Thomas has a broken heart, but it's slowly healing. Although Thomas, an avid user of Facebook, contends that the loss of the Scrabulous application is an "utter [continue reading...]
Posted on August 29th, 2008
Jay Cutler makes surprise appearance at Democratic National Convention
DENVER, CO -- Jay Cutler turned the Democratic National Convention on its ear Wednesday night when he made a surprise appearance following Joe Biden's speech. Cutler, who had been walking the [continue reading...]
Posted on August 28th, 2008
Pretty much every stripper in New Orleans wants to get nailed by Jeremy Shockey
NEW ORLEANS, LA -- SSNN has learned that pretty much every stripper in New Orleans wants to get nailed by Jeremy Shockey pretty bad right now. "I gotta be honest, I [continue reading...]
Posted on August 28th, 2008
Strahan stays retired, wants his check for $25 million ASAP
NEW YORK, NY -- New York Giants football officials were scrambling today to see if they really owed Michael Strahan $25 million after the retired defensive end turned down their [continue reading...]
Posted on August 27th, 2008
Obama asks to have fantasy football draft rescheduled for third time
DENVER, CO -- Barack Obama's fantasy football leaguemates are growing tired of his antics, and are thinking about taking some real corrective action against the Illinois senator-turned-presidential candidate. "For the third [continue reading...]
Posted on August 27th, 2008
Toronto fans confused to see Buffalo and Pittsburgh play football, not hockey
TORONTO, CA -- Canada received its first taste of American football last week, but there is a lot of evidence suggesting they didn't fully understand what was happening. Fans exiting [continue reading...]
Posted on August 21st, 2008
Johnson injures mouth, mute 3-4 weeks
CINCINNATI, OH -- Cincinnati Bengals' publicity-seeking star wideout Chad Johnson severely burned his tongue and lips on what is being called "a particularly hot papaya" before his team's preseason game [continue reading...]
Posted on August 20th, 2008
Favre surprised, hurt that he’s not on McCain VP short list
NEW YORK, NY -- A disgruntled Brett Favre told reporters Thursday morning that he is "a little surprised and hurt" that he's not being seriously considered as a potential running [continue reading...]
Posted on August 14th, 2008
Tarvaris Jackson constantly nonplussed
MINNEAPOLIS, MN -- Reports from Vikings camp indicate that quarterback Tarvaris Jackson has accomplished at least two things so far this season – he has managed to fend off Brett [continue reading...]
Posted on August 13th, 2008
Rodgers asked for autograph for first time ever
GREEN BAY, WI -- After watching a reassuringly average performance against the Cincinnati Bengals, six year-old Green Bay resident Justin Fitchburg asked new Packers quarterback Aaron Rodgers to sign his [continue reading...]
Posted on August 12th, 2008
Bengals hope to sign most of Georgia football team
CINCINNATI, OH -- The Cincinnati Bengals have turned the full resources of their scouting department toward Georgia, especially two members of the state university's football team who were removed during [continue reading...]
Posted on August 11th, 2008
Packers hire Steve Smith to work with Favre upon arrival at camp
GREEN BAY, WI -- Mere hours after publicly apologizing for beating the hell out of teammate Ken Lucas, Carolina Panthers star wideout Steve Smith has accepted an offer from the [continue reading...]
Posted on August 4th, 2008
Rodgers offers to not play for only $15 million
GREEN BAY, WI -- After yesterday's reports that the Green Bay Packers offered erstwhile QB Brett Favre as much as $20 million to stay retired, the Pack's quarterback debacle has [continue reading...]
Posted on July 31st, 2008
Confused Shockey thinks he was traded to the Dolphins
MIAMI, FL -- A giddy Jeremy Shockey arrived in Florida hours ago, his head spinning with excitement at the prospect of joining the Miami Dolphins and performing again in the [continue reading...]
Posted on July 22nd, 2008
Parcells swayed by 2010 sixth-rounder
MIAMI, FL -- "One man's throw-in is another man's treasure," said a visibly enthused Bill Parcells, reeling with excitement after obtaining a 2009 second round pick and a 2010 sixth [continue reading...]
Posted on July 21st, 2008
Packers embroiled in retirement controversy
GREEN BAY, WI -- Earlier this year, he announced he was leaving the Green Bay Packers and the National Football League behind. He already had a storied career, he was [continue reading...]
Posted on July 18th, 2008
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