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fighting Archives

Hockey to remove fighting from game; replace it with Rock, Paper, Scissors

TORONTO, CA – Fighting has been a part of hockey since its inception but has become the subject of controversy in recent years. Due to concerns with the safety [continue reading...]

Posted on February 25th, 2009

Cuban uses blog to challenge J.R. Smith to steel cage match

Cuban will eat your face off if you fuck with his team.

DALLAS, TX -- Days after being assessed a $25,000 fine for improper interaction with an opposing player, Dallas Mavericks owner Mark Cuban is pushing the envelope again – this time [continue reading...]

Posted on January 18th, 2009

Holyfield inks deal to fight “damn kids that won’t get off my lawn”

FAYETTE COUNTY, GA --- Most of the boxing community thought — or hoped, anyway — that a defeat at the hands of the mammoth Nikolai Valuev would finally convince allegedly [continue reading...]

Posted on December 26th, 2008

Johnson proposes 24/7 of himself preparing to battle his own demons

Johnson has his mug shot pose practiced and ready…

KANSAS CITY, MO -- On the heels of the latest news in his seemingly neverending saga of legal issues, Kansas City Chiefs running back Larry Johnson told SSNN that he [continue reading...]

Posted on December 20th, 2008

Bengals hope to sign most of Georgia football team

CINCINNATI, OH -- The Cincinnati Bengals have turned the full resources of their scouting department toward Georgia, especially two members of the state university's football team who were removed during [continue reading...]

Posted on August 11th, 2008

Fielder shoves woman for walking out of The Dark Knight before the end

Prince Fielder is fat. Also he has a lot of anger.

MILWAUKEE, WI -- An irate Prince Fielder is in trouble with the law today after a Monday incident in which he shoved a young woman who decided to leave a [continue reading...]

Posted on August 5th, 2008

Packers hire Steve Smith to work with Favre upon arrival at camp

Steve Smith is small, but he will beat your ass if you front on him.

GREEN BAY, WI -- Mere hours after publicly apologizing for beating the hell out of teammate Ken Lucas, Carolina Panthers star wideout Steve Smith has accepted an offer from the [continue reading...]

Posted on August 4th, 2008

WNBA brawl punishments meted out

Candace made this face when she heard about her punishment…

AUBURN HILLS, MI -- After more than 24 hours of speculation on what exactly would be done, punishments have been handed down for the participants in Tuesday night's WNBA brawl [continue reading...]

Posted on July 24th, 2008

Chacon gets contract with UFC

Chacon will probably make this face a lot during his UFC career.

HOUSTON, TX -- After an altercation with general manager Ed Wade led to his being cut, former Houston Astros pitcher Shawn Chacon is trading in the Major League Baseball diamond [continue reading...]

Posted on June 27th, 2008

Shields suspend self for “girly punches” following Rays-Red Sox brawl

Shields shows his signature “duck and cower”

TAMPA, FL -- Apparently the punishment Major League Baseball doled out to Tampa Bay Rays' starter James Shields following a bench-clearing brawl was not enough for the big right-hander. Shields, [continue reading...]

Posted on June 9th, 2008

Crisp to file sexual harassment suit against Navarro

BOSTON, MA -- Boston Red Sox outfielder Coco Crisp says punching wasn't the only thing going on between him and Tampa Bay Rays catcher Dioner Navarro at the bottom of [continue reading...]

Posted on June 6th, 2008

Pedro challenges Don Zimmer to UFC fight

NEW YORK CITY, NY -- With rumors circulating about a possible retirement following the 2008-2009 MLB season, New York Mets pitcher Pedro Martinez gave a possible hint as to his [continue reading...]

Posted on May 22nd, 2008

Nolan Ryan celebrates new job by beating the crap out of Jon Daniels

ARLINGTON, TX -- Sixty-plus years on this great planet have done nothing to quell the fire that burns within Nolan Ryan, as the flamethrowing right-hander was welcomed into his new [continue reading...]

Posted on February 8th, 2008

UFC to promote Majerus, Burke clash

ST. LOUIS, MO -- St. Louis University head basketball coach Rick Majerus and Archbishop of St. Louis Raymond Burke will soon get the chance to settle their religious feud, by [continue reading...]

Posted on February 1st, 2008

Zambrano announces new ‘boo’ promotion

CHICAGO, IL -- Carlos Zambrano called a surprise press conference Saturday evening to announce his latest venture, "Big Z's Boo Promotion." The Cubs' pitcher told a gathering of [continue reading...]

Posted on September 23rd, 2007

Holy Cow! Heavenly Caray beats crap out of newcomer Rizzuto

PEARLY GATES, HEAVEN -- According to reports from heaven, Phil Rizzuto's eternity of unadultered joy and unequivocal bliss had to be delayed slightly upon his arrival, as his spirit was [continue reading...]

Posted on August 15th, 2007

Piniella furious about Cubs’ blowup

CHICAGO, IL -- Lou Piniella called a press conference before the Cubs game Saturday with the Atlanta Braves to explain the actions of Michael Barrett and Carlos Zambrano. The two [continue reading...]

Posted on June 2nd, 2007

Carmelo Anthony receives “bitch-punch” exemption; suspension shortened

DENVER, CO -- The NBA Players Union filed and immediately won a grievance on behalf of suspended superstar Carmelo Anthony, who received a reduction in his suspension because of a [continue reading...]

Posted on December 18th, 2006