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fantasy football Archives
Pennsylvania small-business owner furious with National League
READING, PA -- Dan Kostansky, 41, is absolutely furious today with the National League All-Star team for robbing him of potentially the most productive workday of the year. "We've got eight [continue reading...]
Posted on July 16th, 2008
Phone companies report record call volume over Joba
NEW YORK, NY -- Several leading cellular phone companies reported a record number of phone calls Friday, apparently due to the announcement that New York Yankees pitcher Joba Chamberlain will [continue reading...]
Posted on May 30th, 2008
Man arrested for sending threatening letters to NFL players
ORLANDO, FL -- A Florida man was arrested yesterday in Orlando after being identified as the sender of multiple menacing letters to approximately twenty NFL players – including Reggie Bush, [continue reading...]
Posted on May 13th, 2008
Kobe adds asterisk to Shaq’s fantasy football championship
LOS ANGELES, CA -- The Los Angeles Lakers Fantasy Football Association's year-end banquet ended in contention Thursday, when it was discovered that Kobe Bryant had defaced the Divac Cup – [continue reading...]
Posted on January 4th, 2008
Henry Clay settles vicious fantasy league dispute
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- A debate that threatened to tear apart the very fabric of the Lindsay Lohan Fantasy Football Association has been narrowly averted, due to a tremendous compromise engineered [continue reading...]
Posted on December 20th, 2007
Vikings fined for having Adrian Peterson wear Chester Taylor’s uniform
SAN FRANCISCO, CA -- It's been a year of deception in the NFL. Only months after the New England Patriots got the league's largest ever fine, the Minnesota Vikings received a [continue reading...]
Posted on December 10th, 2007
Manning throws four more picks while filming commercial
INDIANAPOLIS, IN -- Peyton Manning, who was recently bitten by the interception bug, threw four more picks today while attempting to complete a touchdown pass during the filming of a [continue reading...]
Posted on November 13th, 2007
Spencer from The Hills makes anti-fantasy football comments, solidifies title as ‘biggest douche ever’
HOLLYWOOD HILLS, CA -- Spencer Pratt, long established as the biggest douche in modern America, has reportedly clinched the title as biggest douche in human history after making a [continue reading...]
Posted on November 5th, 2007
Man spends entire commute telling wife about fantasy football issues
ALEXANDRIA, VA -- Hollye Rawlins thought it would be nice to spend some quality time with her husband Dave Wednesday, so she offered to get ready a bit early and [continue reading...]
Posted on October 24th, 2007
Injury to keep fantasy owner out for the season
SHREVEPORT, LA -- Things have gone from bad to worse for Lance Daniels. Despite a victory last week in a crucial game, the owner of the Big Test Icicles will [continue reading...]
Posted on October 19th, 2007
Holliday finds $100 bill in coat he hasn’t worn for a year
DENVER, CO -- As Matt Holliday prepared to leave his house for yesterday's game, he realized that he needed a coat to battle the blustery Colorado temperatures. So, he went to [continue reading...]
Posted on October 16th, 2007
Carson Palmer’s fantasy team puts up second-highest point total of week, loses
CINCINNATI, OH -- Carson Palmer fell victim to the bane of every fantasy footballer's existence Sunday when his team, Mr. October Gonzalez, scored 142.49 points, second highest total in his [continue reading...]
Posted on September 18th, 2007
17,000 morons realize they had wrong Adrian Peterson
USA -- Thousands of complete morons checked their fantasy teams with expectant glee Sunday afternoon, only to realize that they'd drafted or picked up the wrong Adrian Peterson, [continue reading...]
Posted on September 12th, 2007
Bush makes surprise visit to Iraq, attends fantasy football draft in person
ANBAR PROVINCE, IRAQ -- En route to a summit in Sydney, Australia, U.S. President George W. Bush stopped over in Iraq for a surprise visit, and attended his fantasy football [continue reading...]
Posted on September 7th, 2007
HBO’s Hard Knocks propels Gonzalez to higher draft positions
KANSAS CITY, MO -- In living rooms across the country, football fans are looking forward to sharing October with Tony Gonzalez. The veteran tight end saw a resurgence in his fantasy [continue reading...]
Posted on September 6th, 2007
Steven Jackson wins Nobel Peace Prize
OSLO, NORWAY -- Winning a Nobel Prize is widely considered the ultimate achievement in each of the areas for which they are awarded: Physics, Chemistry, Literature, Peace, Physiology and Medicine. [continue reading...]
Posted on August 29th, 2007
Fred Taylor incensed over rotoworld ranking
JACKSONVILLE, Fla.--Fred Taylor broke a laptop computer in the Jacksonville Jaguars' locker room when he was informed of his low placement in Rotoworld's annual Tiers of Heaven draft [continue reading...]
Posted on August 26th, 2007
Unborn Brady child ranked #21 fantasy QB
FOXBORO, MA -- ESPN's resident fantasy expert Matthew Berry is no stranger to going out on a limb, and this year is no different. In the recently posted fantasy football [continue reading...]
Posted on August 2nd, 2007
FT Cruisers eliminated from JJCFL playoffs
JACKSONVILLE, FL -- In a crushing blow, the Jacksonville Jaguars Clubhouse Fantasy League playoffs will resume in Week 16 without the FT Cruisers, who were eliminated in excruciating 101.89 - [continue reading...]
Posted on December 18th, 2006
Fred Taylor reluctantly considering starting LT as FLEX
JACKSONVILLE, FL -- Fred Taylor, owner of the FT Cruisers in the Jacksonville Jaguars Clubhouse Fantasy League (JJCFL), is reluctantly considering starting LaDainian Tomlinson this weekend for the first time [continue reading...]
Posted on December 14th, 2006
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