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McCain wants to postpone debate until fantasy baseball season is over

OXFORD, MS -- Citing the unbelievable pressures facing most fantasy baseball playing Americans and the heady times that are coming up this weekend, John McCain has proposed that the presidential [continue reading...]

Posted on September 26th, 2008

Man decides to give fantasy hockey “a try”

BENNINGTON, NY—Area man Steve Placer, known locally for his expertise in fantasy football and baseball, has, at the request of a close friend, decided to give fantasy hockey a try. [continue reading...]

Posted on September 9th, 2008

Man sends wife passive-aggressive trade offers in fantasy league following domestic dispute

HARRISBURG, PA -- David DelMonico, 44, thought that inviting his wife to join his fantasy league might be a bad idea when he extended the invite pre-season. "We've got a real [continue reading...]

Posted on August 31st, 2008

Passing of trade deadline allows President Bush to focus more on politics

Bush now has a few months left where his primary focus will be on the Presidency.

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- August 25 has come and gone, and President Bush has informed his staff and the nation at large that he's "now ready to really get back to [continue reading...]

Posted on August 26th, 2008

John Edwards admits to cheating in fantasy baseball league

Even in disgrace, John Edwards smiles for the camera.

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- A tearful John Edwards admitted to SSNN yesterday that he repeatedly hacked into opposing player's accounts during the course of the current fantasy baseball season to gain [continue reading...]

Posted on August 11th, 2008

Epstein unable to deal with new Red Sox IT system

Epstein is now forced to use his Blackberry to check his fantasy team

BOSTON, MA -- With the trade deadline fast approaching, Boston Red Sox GM Theo Epstein would like to be wheeling and dealing, trying to improve his team for a stretch [continue reading...]

Posted on July 30th, 2008

Minaya focusing on fantasy team more than Mets

Minaya has more important things to worry about than the Mets

NEW YORK, NY -- Whether the New York Mets are willing to admit it or not, Aaron Heilman is unavailable. That is the report that is circulating through the league as [continue reading...]

Posted on July 29th, 2008

Pennsylvania small-business owner furious with National League

Local employer holds Uggla responsible for unproductive workday.

READING, PA -- Dan Kostansky, 41, is absolutely furious today with the National League All-Star team for robbing him of potentially the most productive workday of the year. "We've got eight [continue reading...]

Posted on July 16th, 2008

“Devastated” Jair Jurrjens reacts to trade by ruthless fantasy owner

ATLANTA, GA--A "heartbroken and disgusted" Jair Jurrjens arrived at the ballpark Wednesday after disovering late Tuesday night that he'd been traded away by rapacious fantasy baseball owner John Tain. Tain, the [continue reading...]

Posted on July 2nd, 2008

Waxman literally has nothing else to do

He’s not proud of it, but Waxman can’t find shit to do…

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Henry Waxman has heard the complaints before. The House Committee on Oversight and Government Reform Chairman has been asked countless times, and he still has only one [continue reading...]

Posted on June 9th, 2008

Phone companies report record call volume over Joba

Joba Chamberlain is really overexcited about starting.

NEW YORK, NY -- Several leading cellular phone companies reported a record number of phone calls Friday, apparently due to the announcement that New York Yankees pitcher Joba Chamberlain will [continue reading...]

Posted on May 30th, 2008

Fantasy baseball commish takes responsibility way too seriously

WHITE PLAINS, NY -- John Calvin got married in February, but he won't think twice if you ask him to name the best thing that has happened this year. "No question, [continue reading...]

Posted on April 15th, 2008

Martinez, Hampton to be euthanized after latest injuries

NEW YORK, NY and ATLANTA, GA -- It looks as if the Mets and Braves have had enough of their broken-down, old pitchers. Today both clubs announced their intention to [continue reading...]

Posted on April 8th, 2008

Men accidentally kiss after selecting Escobar at fantasy draft

ERIE, PA -- Things are a little awkward these days for a pair of friends from Erie's South Side, following an awkward incident that took place at this weekend's fantasy [continue reading...]

Posted on April 5th, 2008

Dallas man files lawsuit against Yahoo!

DALLAS, TX -- Local man Timothy Reynolds has filed a lawsuit against Yahoo!, claiming the Internet company ruined his life. According to papers filed with the Dallas Municipal Court early [continue reading...]

Posted on April 1st, 2008

Fantasy draft gone awry leaves one dead, two injured

BRONX, NY -- Police discovered a grisly scene at an uptown New York apartment complex over the weekend, when a fantasy baseball gathering turned violent, leaving two men injured and [continue reading...]

Posted on March 26th, 2008

Scheduling conflict puts Chicago man’s marriage in doubt

CHICAGO, IL -- When Evan Johnson got an email on Sunday afternoon inviting him to the 2008 Bull Durham Fantasy Baseball League, the 28-year-old fantasy fanatic didn't think twice about [continue reading...]

Posted on March 12th, 2008

Local man “pretty sure” he’ll win fantasy baseball league

MANHATTAN, NY -- Investment banker and avid fantasy baseball player Jason Ruffalo has told SSNN sources that he's the team to beat this year in his fantasy league. Ruffalo's prediction is [continue reading...]

Posted on March 6th, 2008

Man plans to covertly draft fantasy team on tenth anniversary

ST. PAUL, MN -- Local regional sales manager Gerald Powers, 43, is hoping to pull off an unprecedented act of bravado Saturday, as he seeks to draft a fantasy baseball [continue reading...]

Posted on February 13th, 2008

Jeter not going to waste pick on self in fantasy league

NEW YORK, NY – In a candid and emotional interview with SSNN early this morning, Derek Jeter admitted he wouldn’t waste a fantasy draft pick [continue reading...]

Posted on January 14th, 2008

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