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fantasy baseball Archives
George W. Bush no longer feeling guilty about managing his fantasy baseball team for 8-10 hours a day
CRAWFORD, TX -- Four days removed from his eight-year term as President of the United States of America, a seemingly happy-go-lucky George W. Bush is feeling a lot better about [continue reading...]
Posted on January 24th, 2009
Local fantasy league commish draws first pick in the draft for fourth year in a row
BLOOMINGTON, MI -- Even though snow still covers the frozen Michigan tundra, the first sign of spring has appeared for the members of the Bloomington Fantasy Baseball Association. The BFBA conducted [continue reading...]
Posted on January 22nd, 2009
Local man has to recalculate entire draft plan upon hearing of Kent’s retirement
TRENTON, N.J. -- The world of Jason Ruffalo was thrown into upheaval this week when mustachioed L.A. Dodger second sacker Jeff Kent announced his retirement from baseball. "I had Jeff [continue reading...]
Posted on January 22nd, 2009
ARCHIVE: Man’s wife spends fantasy winnings in single trip to grocery store
Enjoy this encore presentation of a classic SSNN piece. ANN ARBOR, MI -- Last week Brian Babbit, 36, was on top of the world. The avid fantasy sports participant won his [continue reading...]
Posted on November 16th, 2008
McCain wants to postpone debate until fantasy baseball season is over
OXFORD, MS -- Citing the unbelievable pressures facing most fantasy baseball playing Americans and the heady times that are coming up this weekend, John McCain has proposed that the presidential [continue reading...]
Posted on September 26th, 2008
Man decides to give fantasy hockey “a try”
BENNINGTON, NY—Area man Steve Placer, known locally for his expertise in fantasy football and baseball, has, at the request of a close friend, decided to give fantasy hockey a try. [continue reading...]
Posted on September 9th, 2008
Man sends wife passive-aggressive trade offers in fantasy league following domestic dispute
HARRISBURG, PA -- David DelMonico, 44, thought that inviting his wife to join his fantasy league might be a bad idea when he extended the invite pre-season. "We've got a real [continue reading...]
Posted on August 31st, 2008
Passing of trade deadline allows President Bush to focus more on politics
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- August 25 has come and gone, and President Bush has informed his staff and the nation at large that he's "now ready to really get back to [continue reading...]
Posted on August 26th, 2008
John Edwards admits to cheating in fantasy baseball league
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- A tearful John Edwards admitted to SSNN yesterday that he repeatedly hacked into opposing player's accounts during the course of the current fantasy baseball season to gain [continue reading...]
Posted on August 11th, 2008
Epstein unable to deal with new Red Sox IT system
BOSTON, MA -- With the trade deadline fast approaching, Boston Red Sox GM Theo Epstein would like to be wheeling and dealing, trying to improve his team for a stretch [continue reading...]
Posted on July 30th, 2008
Minaya focusing on fantasy team more than Mets
NEW YORK, NY -- Whether the New York Mets are willing to admit it or not, Aaron Heilman is unavailable. That is the report that is circulating through the league as [continue reading...]
Posted on July 29th, 2008
Pennsylvania small-business owner furious with National League
READING, PA -- Dan Kostansky, 41, is absolutely furious today with the National League All-Star team for robbing him of potentially the most productive workday of the year. "We've got eight [continue reading...]
Posted on July 16th, 2008
“Devastated” Jair Jurrjens reacts to trade by ruthless fantasy owner
ATLANTA, GA--A "heartbroken and disgusted" Jair Jurrjens arrived at the ballpark Wednesday after disovering late Tuesday night that he'd been traded away by rapacious fantasy baseball owner John Tain. Tain, the [continue reading...]
Posted on July 2nd, 2008
Waxman literally has nothing else to do
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Henry Waxman has heard the complaints before. The House Committee on Oversight and Government Reform Chairman has been asked countless times, and he still has only one [continue reading...]
Posted on June 9th, 2008
Phone companies report record call volume over Joba
NEW YORK, NY -- Several leading cellular phone companies reported a record number of phone calls Friday, apparently due to the announcement that New York Yankees pitcher Joba Chamberlain will [continue reading...]
Posted on May 30th, 2008
Fantasy baseball commish takes responsibility way too seriously
WHITE PLAINS, NY -- John Calvin got married in February, but he won't think twice if you ask him to name the best thing that has happened this year. "No question, [continue reading...]
Posted on April 15th, 2008
Martinez, Hampton to be euthanized after latest injuries
NEW YORK, NY and ATLANTA, GA -- It looks as if the Mets and Braves have had enough of their broken-down, old pitchers. Today both clubs announced their intention to [continue reading...]
Posted on April 8th, 2008
Men accidentally kiss after selecting Escobar at fantasy draft
ERIE, PA -- Things are a little awkward these days for a pair of friends from Erie's South Side, following an awkward incident that took place at this weekend's fantasy [continue reading...]
Posted on April 5th, 2008
Dallas man files lawsuit against Yahoo!
DALLAS, TX -- Local man Timothy Reynolds has filed a lawsuit against Yahoo!, claiming the Internet company ruined his life. According to papers filed with the Dallas Municipal Court early [continue reading...]
Posted on April 1st, 2008
Fantasy draft gone awry leaves one dead, two injured
BRONX, NY -- Police discovered a grisly scene at an uptown New York apartment complex over the weekend, when a fantasy baseball gathering turned violent, leaving two men injured and [continue reading...]
Posted on March 26th, 2008
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