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God manipulating games to win bracket contest

BRISTOL, CT -- Amid all of the upsets and busted brackets from the first weekend of the NCAA men's basketball tournament, there is one bracket on ESPN.com's Tournament Challenge – [continue reading...]

Posted on March 25th, 2008

Sports reporter chick with nice ass, decent rack fights objectification

BRISTOL, CT -- ESPN hottie Rachel Nichols is a mainstay in the world of sports reporting. Seen and admired by millions of viewers, she's reached the pinnacle of her field. [continue reading...]

Posted on March 22nd, 2008

Fox Sports accusing Simmons of breach of contract

CULVER CITY, CA -- Animated exercise expert Richard Simmons is under fire today, as Fox Sports has filed suit against him after years of Vice President Ed Goren vehemently accusing [continue reading...]

Posted on March 20th, 2008

ESPN commissions gold statue of UNC’s Hansbrough

BRISTOL, CT -- In a widely anticipated move, ESPN has commissioned an artist to create a 10-foot tall, solid gold statue of North Carolina forward Tyler Hansbrough. "We just felt that [continue reading...]

Posted on March 17th, 2008

Lunardi: “I actually wanted to be an accountant”

PHILADELPHIA, PA -- Joe Lunardi sits slumped over in his favorite easy chair and lets out a huge sigh of relief following Sunday's NCAA Tournament selection show, a practice that [continue reading...]

Posted on March 17th, 2008

NHL playoffs rumored to begin soon

BRISTOL, CT -- Over the past week, sources within the NHL have been whispering that the league intends to begin its annual playoffs soon, although the exact date remains in [continue reading...]

Posted on March 12th, 2008

Mortensen cell confiscated, brought to Hall

CANTON, OH -- With the tears of innumerable cheese-heads and football fans around the country not yet dry after Brett Favre's official retirement announcement, a shrine dedicated to the future [continue reading...]

Posted on March 9th, 2008

Smith reveals man-crush on Allen Iverson now legal separation

BRISTOL, CT -- Stephen A. Smith told Serious Sports News Network yesterday that his long-time, obsessive man-crush on Allen Iverson is now a legal separation, due to the volatile anchor [continue reading...]

Posted on February 27th, 2008

Olbermann wants life chronicled on True Hollywood Story

NEW YORK, NY -- Former ESPN anchor and current MSNBC pundit Keith Olbermann thinks it is time people noticed how extraordinary of a life he has led. Sources close to the [continue reading...]

Posted on February 25th, 2008

Berman: “Me or the Internet”

BRISTOL, CT -- ESPN is scrambling today after a fiery Chris Berman told executives that he was thinking about leaving his post with the company after nearly 30 years. "At [continue reading...]

Posted on February 25th, 2008

Paige fervently contesting Around the Horn record

DENVER, CO -- Loudmouth, on-again, off-again Denver Post columnist and ESPN personality Woody Paige claims his won-loss record on the hit show Around the Horn has been grossly and deliberately [continue reading...]

Posted on February 14th, 2008

One of a series of Chris Berman outtakes

For more angry Berman, click here

Posted on February 11th, 2008

Vitale back on shelf after pulling vocal chord

BRISTOL, CT-- Legendary, overly excitable ESPN broadcaster Dick Vitale won't be doing any yelling anytime soon. On the night Vitale made his triumphant return to the airwaves after undergoing successful surgery [continue reading...]

Posted on February 8th, 2008

Gammons: Bedard trade delay hurting O’s chance to suck more in ‘08

BRISTOL, CT -- According to ESPN baseball maven Peter Gammons, the continuing Erik Bedard trade saga is slowing down the offseason progress of the Baltimore Orioles organization and threatening the [continue reading...]

Posted on February 7th, 2008

Anchor Van Pelt still not sure what ‘ESPN’ stands for

BRISTOL, CT -- SportsCenter anchor Scott Van Pelt is easily one of the more popular broadcasters on the leading sports network in the nation. With a quick wit and the [continue reading...]

Posted on January 10th, 2008

E:60 facing changes to name, format

BRISTOL, CT -- After only a few months of airtime, and limited interest shown in mediocre ratings, the ESPN's fresh-off-the-press TV newsmag – E:60 – is making some fundamental changes. [continue reading...]

Posted on January 2nd, 2008

Red Sox add Simmons to package for Santana

BOSTON, MA -- According to sources within the organization, Boston Red Sox GM Theo Epstein is now willing to include ESPN.com columnist Bill Simmons – more popularly known as The [continue reading...]

Posted on December 18th, 2007

Devin Hester sets another record on MNF

MINNEAPOLIS, MN -- Devin Hester's amazing career continued Monday night, as he destroyed another record. Hester is now the all-time NFL record holder for "most graphics devoted to a return [continue reading...]

Posted on December 18th, 2007

FROM THE ARCHIVES: ESPN, MLB to debut The Syringe Life

Sports and reality TV collide! Finally, the marriage we've all been waiting for... NEW [continue reading...]

Posted on December 12th, 2007

Holtz “virtually unharmed” after motorcycle accident

BRISTOL, CT -- College football coaching legend Lou Holtz walked away from a terrifying motorcycle accident Saturday night, thanks in large part to his protective leather skin. The current ESPN [continue reading...]

Posted on December 9th, 2007

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