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Elijah Dukes Archives

Sarah Palin eats Scott Boras’s soul, becomes nicer

MINNEAPOLIS, MN -- SSNN has learned that Sarah Palin ate Scott Boras's soul last night, and actually became a much more friendly, generous person than she had been beforehand. "Yes, I [continue reading...]

Posted on September 4th, 2008

Rockies’ Taveras disappointed about possible demotion

DENVER, CO -- Colorado Rockies general manager Dan O'Dowd has reportedly told outfielder Willy Taveras that he may be traded soon, with the most likely destination being an unaffiliated minor [continue reading...]

Posted on August 25th, 2008

Dukes takes swing at reconciliation with “Dick in a Box”

ORLANDO, FL -- In an unexpected attempt at reconciliation, Elijah Dukes violated his restraining order and presented his wife with a gift: his dick, in a box. Dukes allegedly showed [continue reading...]

Posted on July 20th, 2007

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