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B.J. Upton steals three bases and Joe Buck’s heart

PHILADELPHIA, PA -- With three swift stolen bases in the sixth and eighth innings, B.J. Upton stole the Tampa Bay Rays back into Saturday night's World Series game, and, more [continue reading...]

Posted on October 26th, 2008

Vitale so excited about the Rays that he’s just walking around yelling all the time and saying these ridiculous phrases

TAMPA BAY, FL -- Dick Vitale, who has been a Tampa Bay Rays season ticket holder since the team's move to the Tampa area, is so excited about the Rays' [continue reading...]

Posted on October 12th, 2008

Jay-Z knocks out Vitale

You can’t knock the hustle…

NEW YORK CITY, NY -- Dick Vitale is recovering today after having his jaw wired shut overnight, a byproduct of being punched in the face by Jay-Z following the NBA [continue reading...]

Posted on June 27th, 2008

CBS execs to begin giving Nantz testosterone injections

DETROIT, MI -- CBS announced Wednesday it will be taking unprecedented measures to further improve the already stellar television ratings generated by its coverage of the NCAA tournament. A source within [continue reading...]

Posted on March 27th, 2008

ESPN commissions gold statue of UNC’s Hansbrough

BRISTOL, CT -- In a widely anticipated move, ESPN has commissioned an artist to create a 10-foot tall, solid gold statue of North Carolina forward Tyler Hansbrough. "We just felt that [continue reading...]

Posted on March 17th, 2008

Vitale back on shelf after pulling vocal chord

BRISTOL, CT-- Legendary, overly excitable ESPN broadcaster Dick Vitale won't be doing any yelling anytime soon. On the night Vitale made his triumphant return to the airwaves after undergoing successful surgery [continue reading...]

Posted on February 8th, 2008

Vitale pried from Coach K

DURHAM, NC -- After more than a decade of research and surgery, doctors were successfully able to remove Dick Vitale’s lips from Duke Coach Mike Krzyzewski’s posterior. The pair [continue reading...]

Posted on March 11th, 2007


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