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Curt Schilling Archives

Curt Schilling’s blog inducted into baseball Hall of Fame

COOPERSTOWN, NY—In a move not seen since Roberto Clemente’s posthumous induction in 1973, the National Baseball Hall of Fame in Cooperstown, New York waived its customary five-year waiting period earlier [continue reading...]

Posted on March 25th, 2009

Favre and Belichick to create douchebag magnet Sunday; expected to lure thousands to Foxboro

FOXBORO, MA—Scientists are scrambling this week, as supercomputers from the University of Chicago’s Yerkes Observatory have forecasted that this coming Sunday, in Foxboro, the presence of Patriots head coach Bill [continue reading...]

Posted on November 12th, 2008

Sabathia settles Brewers rotation debate by eating Sheets

MILWAUKEE, WI -- When the Brewers traded for C.C. Sabathia yesterday, there was a lot of debate as to whether the incoming "ace" would replace the current "ace" of the [continue reading...]

Posted on July 8th, 2008

Manny looking to alleviate summer boredom

BOSTON, MA -- As June comes to a close and baseball reaches the heart of its season, the wear of eighty-plus games is starting to take its toll on the [continue reading...]

Posted on June 30th, 2008

Schilling’s shoulder to have own blog

BOSTON, MA -- Following Boston Red Sox Pitcher Curt Schilling's recent disclosure that he will have potentially career-ending shoulder surgery, the outspoken Schilling announced today that his shoulder will chronicle [continue reading...]

Posted on June 23rd, 2008

Construction workers find Schilling buried under new Yankee Stadium

NEW YORK CITY, NY -- Having previously excavated a David Ortiz jersey from the bowels of the new Yankee stadium, construction workers on Sunday discovered another artifact placed there for [continue reading...]

Posted on April 14th, 2008

Doctor diagnoses Schilling with “blogger’s shoulder”

BOSTON, MA -- According to reports today, Red Sox pitcher Curt Schilling is once again experiencing shoulder problems and will likely miss at least half of the 2008 season. The [continue reading...]

Posted on February 7th, 2008

Abbas and Olmert agree to peace between Red Sox and Yankees

ANNAPOLIS, MD -- After a truly momentous exchange that will resonate throughout history, the Red Sox and the Yankees are now at peace, thanks to the sedulous efforts of Israeli [continue reading...]

Posted on November 28th, 2007

Schilling’s contract contains unusual incentives

BOSTON, MA -- Curt Schilling's incentive laden contract includes a two million dollar bonus if the burly pitcher will shut down his blog in time for the 2008 season, and [continue reading...]

Posted on November 7th, 2007

Schilling’s wife learns of planned sexual activity from blog

BOSTON, MA -- Browsing through the many blog feeds on her Google home page, Shonda Schilling recently read that's she'll soon be the object of her husband's sexual desire. Red [continue reading...]

Posted on November 2nd, 2007

Four Boston fans watched BC comeback

BOSTON, MA -- Up against the second game of the World Series, the Boston College Golden Eagles received the attention of a record-low four fans in the Boston area for [continue reading...]

Posted on October 30th, 2007

Schilling might cut ankle to regain 2004 magic

BOSTON, MA -- Following last Saturday's sub-par performance against Cleveland, Curt Schilling is looking for answers. After shutting down the Angels in the opening playoff series, Schilling struggled with his [continue reading...]

Posted on October 18th, 2007

Manny Ramirez unaware of Matsuzaka signing

BOSTON, MA -- In town for a charity dinner event, Manny Ramirez was blindsided by reports that the Red Sox had signed Japanese free agent pitcher Daisuke Matsuzaka. "That's news to [continue reading...]

Posted on December 14th, 2006

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