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Colorado Rockies Archives

Rockies’ Taveras disappointed about possible demotion

DENVER, CO -- Colorado Rockies general manager Dan O'Dowd has reportedly told outfielder Willy Taveras that he may be traded soon, with the most likely destination being an unaffiliated minor [continue reading...]

Posted on August 25th, 2008

Manny looking to alleviate summer boredom

BOSTON, MA -- As June comes to a close and baseball reaches the heart of its season, the wear of eighty-plus games is starting to take its toll on the [continue reading...]

Posted on June 30th, 2008

M.I.T. prof discovers equation to determine real age of Dominican players

BOSTON, MA -- M.I.T. mathematics professor James A. Howard has come up with a formula to determine the real age of Dominican-born Major Leaguers. An avid baseball fan, Professor Howard was [continue reading...]

Posted on June 3rd, 2008

Padres GM furious with MLB ruling

SAN DIEGO, CA -- Still reeling – both physically and emotionally – from their epic, 22-inning loss to the Colorado Rockies last Thursday, the San Diego Padres are now trying [continue reading...]

Posted on April 22nd, 2008

Did Matt Holliday touch the plate? Find out!

Posted on March 28th, 2008

ESPN fan forum sets record for most blatantly obvious statements made in a day

BRISTOL, CT -- This week, the Guinness Book of World Records notified ESPN that the fan forum on their popular ESPN.com website had set the record for most blatantly obvious [continue reading...]

Posted on November 14th, 2007

Americans prepare for most productive workday since October 2004

USA -- Millions of Americans are scrambling today to set up meetings, schedule phone calls, and arrange client visits; all in a desperate attempt to avoid face-to-face contact with gloating [continue reading...]

Posted on October 29th, 2007

Hurdle: Red Sox are “really good”

DENVER, CO -- After getting swept out of the World Series, manager Clint Hurdle of the Colorado Rockies told media members that, "these Boston Red Sox are really good." Hurdle, [continue reading...]

Posted on October 29th, 2007

Red Sox team bus made last-second stop at Sports Authority in Denver

DENVER, CO -- Local citizens at one of Denver's Sports Authority locations were treated to a surprise visit from the Boston Red Sox Saturday morning, as the team had to [continue reading...]

Posted on October 28th, 2007

Vatican to investigate Colorado Rockies miracle

ROME, ITALY -- The Vatican announced Tuesday that it will send representatives from the Catholic Church to investigate the possible miracle of the Colorado Rockies. The Catholic church began anointing [continue reading...]

Posted on October 22nd, 2007

Rockies extend winning streak

DENVER, CO -- The National League champion Colorado Rockies continued their red-hot ways on Tuesday, extending their winning streak to 12 games, and winning 23 of their last 24 as [continue reading...]

Posted on October 17th, 2007

Holliday finds $100 bill in coat he hasn’t worn for a year

DENVER, CO -- As Matt Holliday prepared to leave his house for yesterday's game, he realized that he needed a coat to battle the blustery Colorado temperatures. So, he went to [continue reading...]

Posted on October 16th, 2007

Holliday’s behavior "just childish," Rockies say

DENVER, CO -- Matt Holliday won't stop pinching teammates and making ambiguously erotic comments about dreams, several members of the Rockies reported Tuesday. "It has gotten pretty bad," said [continue reading...]

Posted on October 2nd, 2007

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