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Christmas Archives

Donovan McNabb religiously abides by $10 limit in family gift exchange

McNabb happily sticks to the family’s $10 gift limit.

PHILADELPHIA, PA -- According to members of his family, Philadelphia Eagles quarterback Donovan McNabb continues to be a stringent follower of the family's ten dollar limit in their yearly Christmas [continue reading...]

Posted on December 31st, 2008

Local man promises nephew that the Chicago Bears will make the playoffs

CICERO, IL--Richard Montanez kept putting off getting a Christmas present for his eight-year old nephew David, which ended up being a huge mistake. "I kept delaying and procrastinating," Montanez said. "For [continue reading...]

Posted on December 28th, 2008

Red Sox fans “didn’t want that Teixeira douche anyway”

BOSTON, MA—One would have thought that the Yankees nabbing former Angels first baseman Mark Teixeira and signing him to an 8-year $180 million deal would have put a bit of [continue reading...]

Posted on December 26th, 2008

Yankees sign Santa Claus to a 10-year, $210M deal; still get no presents

NEW YORK, NY -- Continuing their off-season spending spree, the Yankees nabbed two big-name free agents yesterday, first baseman Mark Teixeira, and North Pole resident Santa Claus. Though Teixeira’s 8-year [continue reading...]

Posted on December 25th, 2008

Aaron Rodgers attempting to celebtrate both Christmas and Hannukah

GREEN BAY, WI -- Citing his obligation to represent the interests of "Wisconsin's fine Jewish citizens," Aaron Rodgers has announced that he'll be celebrating both Christmas and Hannukah this year. [continue reading...]

Posted on December 23rd, 2008

Youkilis storms out of spinning class at local gym in protest over lack of Hannukah music

BOSTON, MA -- Volatile Red Sox infielder Kevin Youkilis stormed out of a spinning class today after just 37 minutes in a vicious protest over what he felt was an [continue reading...]

Posted on December 22nd, 2008

Peyton Manning goes “off register” on Ashley’s Christmas gift

INDIANAPOLIS, IN—Colts quarterback Peyton Manning learned a valuable lesson last year when he forgot to buy presents for his wife Ashley in the holiday rush. Although tragedy was narrowly averted [continue reading...]

Posted on December 18th, 2008

A-Rod and Madonna schedule Xmas party for the night before Jeter’s

NEW YORK, NY -- Every year for the last ten, Derek Jeter has rented out the Broome Street Bar one of the last weekends before Christmas, and he has all [continue reading...]

Posted on November 27th, 2008

UFC to promote Majerus, Burke clash

ST. LOUIS, MO -- St. Louis University head basketball coach Rick Majerus and Archbishop of St. Louis Raymond Burke will soon get the chance to settle their religious feud, by [continue reading...]

Posted on February 1st, 2008

Portis skips practice to return Christmas gifts

WASHINGTON, DC -- Clinton Portis is in hot water today, after skipping Redskins' practice to return Christmas presents. "Coach said it was a 'mandatory' practice," Portis said. "Especially since we didn't [continue reading...]

Posted on January 2nd, 2008

Bulls hire new head coach

CHICAGO, IL -- In the wake of the moderately controversial Christmas Eve canning of coach Scott Skiles, the Chicago Bulls have announced a big name hire to fill their coaching [continue reading...]

Posted on December 27th, 2007

Santa delivers Christmas victory to Lakers by mistake

LOS ANGELES, CA -- The Los Angeles Lakers found themselves on the receiving end of a Christmas miracle earlier this week when they pulled out a victory over the Phoenix [continue reading...]

Posted on December 27th, 2007

Skiles thankful for holiday firing

CHICAGO, IL – After spending Christmas Day with his family – who had traveled to Chicago for the occasion – fired Bulls coach Scott Skiles seemed to have gained fresh [continue reading...]

Posted on December 26th, 2007

Manning forgets wife in last-minute shopping frenzy

INDIANAPOLIS, IN -- For an NFL quarterback, the holidays are a trying time. Peyton Manning led his Colts onto the field Sunday for a drubbing of a floundering Houston squad; and [continue reading...]

Posted on December 25th, 2007

Iguodala asking Santa for jump shot

PHILADELPHIA, PA -- Sixers star Andre Iguodala told reporters today that all he wants for Christmas is a jump shot, and he has written to Santa saying as much. While [continue reading...]

Posted on December 24th, 2007

Awkward mistletoe encounter threatens Patriots’ chemistry

FOXBORO, MA -- For the New England Patriots, a team that has relied on such precision timing and an uncanny ability to avoid trouble for the past four months, Wednesday [continue reading...]

Posted on December 20th, 2007

Kyle Shanahan gets Christmas present; no others forthcoming

HOUSTON, TX -- Houston Texans quarterbacks coach Kyle Shanahan – son of Broncos headman Mike – received an early Christmas gift from his father Thursday night in the [continue reading...]

Posted on December 14th, 2007

Selig hoping steroid report arrives in time to ruin holidays

MILWAUKEE, WI -- Under direct orders from MLB Commissioner Bud Selig, the results of the George Mitchell probe investigating the alleged use of steroids in baseball should arrive just in [continue reading...]

Posted on December 6th, 2007