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Chicago Cubs Archives

Sosa: “See, that corked bat thing doesn’t look so bad now, does it?”

CHICAGO, IL—Amid revelations that he tested positive for performance-enhancing drugs in 2003, Sammy Sosa took the opportunity yesterday to address different allegations, specifically those that arose after he was discovered [continue reading...]

Posted on June 17th, 2009

Milton Bradley speaking solely in Internet meme

CHICAGO, IL—Cubs outfielder Milton Bradley has gotten off to a rocky start with his new club, already earning himself many enemies in the locker room and front office, due to [continue reading...]

Posted on March 12th, 2009

Zambrano irate about CTA fare increase

CHICAGO, IL -- After arriving in town for this coming weekend's Cubs Convention, team ace Carlos Zambrano was greeted with a rude surprise as he attempted to board an Orange [continue reading...]

Posted on January 15th, 2009

2008 Top 20, #13: Zambrano skipping spring training until he gets a MacBook Air

UNDISCLOSED ARIZONA LOCATION -- Carlos Zambrano is in the best shape of his life, and is looking forward to putting up over 20 wins for the Chicago Cubs. Just not [continue reading...]

Posted on December 29th, 2008

Zambrano shoveling snow to make some “fun money” during winter

CHICAGO, IL -- Chicago Cubs officials are scrambling today as they comb through the recently-signed $91.5 million extension for ace Carlos Zambrano, looking for a way to bar the wacky [continue reading...]

Posted on December 26th, 2008

Obama to throw out first pitch at Sox opener; Cubs get Sarah Palin

CHICAGO, IL -- In the immediate aftermath of the US Presidential Election, Chicago White Sox general manager Kenny Williams invited President-Elect Barack Obama to throw out the first pitch of [continue reading...]

Posted on December 25th, 2008

SEC decides Cuban’s punishment: he must purchase the Chicago Cubs

NEW YORK, NY -- In what will stand forever as a unique example of professional sports leagues and the federal government cooperating, a committee convened by the SEC, MLB and [continue reading...]

Posted on November 19th, 2008

Cuban confused NBA with real-life, lawyers assert

DALLAS, TX—Controversial Mavericks owner Mark Cuban was indicted yesterday by the Securities and Exchange Commission yesterday after it was revealed Cuban sold 600,000 shares in Mamma.com after learning privately that [continue reading...]

Posted on November 18th, 2008

Poll conducted by Zambrano shows Zambrano as NL MVP

CHICAGO, IL -- Carlos Zambrano has election fever. The star pitcher for the Cubs has taken it upon himself to take a poll concerning the National League MVP voting that has [continue reading...]

Posted on October 29th, 2008

Zambrano to take statistics at Northwestern

CHICAGO -- The Chicago Cubs' early exit from the playoffs this year has brought with it a silver lining for at least one player. Carlos Zambrano has announced that he will [continue reading...]

Posted on October 10th, 2008

Cubs infielders mad at Zambrano for inducing so many groundballs

SOMEWHERE BETWEEN CHICAGO AND LOS ANGELES -- As the Chicago Cubs traveled toward Los Angeles down two games to none against the Los Angeles Dodgers, several of the Cubs' infielders [continue reading...]

Posted on October 3rd, 2008

Carlos Zambrano tells teammates he would’ve voted against bailout plan

CHICAGO - Cubs pitcher Carlos Zambrano informed teammates Tuesday at practice that he "totally would've voted against the bailout" that failed to pass the House of Representatives on Monday. "Carlos came [continue reading...]

Posted on October 1st, 2008

Selig to Astros: “Stop complaining, or I’ll make you play the entire 2009 season in Montreal.”

HOUSTON, TX -- As many Houston Astros players and fans express their outrage at Bud Selig's decision to force the Astros to play two makeup "home games" in Milwaukee, Selig [continue reading...]

Posted on September 22nd, 2008

Harden invites teammates to view WALL-E

Rich Harden loves allegorical animated films.

CHICAGO, IL -- In what he hoped would be a team-building exercise that would let his teammates get to know him a bit better, Rich Harden invited several Cubs teammates [continue reading...]

Posted on August 6th, 2008

Zambrano used stunt double Sunday so he could attend Lollapalooza

Big Z was in his party outfit for Kanye West at Lollapalooza

CHICAGO, IL -- The Chicago Cubs are furious today after learning that Carlos Zambrano employed a stunt double for his start on Sunday, so he could attend Chicago's popular Lollapalooza [continue reading...]

Posted on August 5th, 2008

Cubs dynasty underway with second consecutive World Series title

October 15, 1908, from Chicago Sporting Fanatic With yesterday's 2-0 victory over the Detroit Tigers, our beloved Chicago Cubs did more than just win their second consecutive World Series – [continue reading...]

Posted on August 4th, 2008

Rays’ Maddon hailed as Second Coming

This is what Jesus looks like with thick-frame glasses and a crew cut.

TAMPA, FL -- Tampa Bay Rays manager Joe Maddon has, by the standards of many baseball experts, performed a miracle in leading his previously hapless squad to first place in [continue reading...]

Posted on July 10th, 2008

Source: Sabathia demanded trade to Milwaukee

Sabathia’s neck is well on its way to disappearing.

CLEVELAND, OH – Mere hours after the trade of C.C. Sabathia to the Milwaukee Brewers was reported by ESPN's Buster Olney, sources within the Cleveland Indians organization say the team [continue reading...]

Posted on July 7th, 2008

Major League managers pay tribute to Carlin

Some MLB managers stole this facial expression from Carlin, too

CHICAGO, IL -- The death of actor/comedian George Carlin has not only had an effect on the entertainment community, but the sports community as well. The stand-up legend's influence was [continue reading...]

Posted on June 24th, 2008

Cubs accidentally fire Lou Piniella

Lou’s a little hurt, but might come back

CHICAGO, IL -- Chicagoland sports websites, talk radio shows and barbershops are buzzing today after it was announced that the Cubs, who have baseball's best record, inadvertently fired Lou Piniella. According [continue reading...]

Posted on June 20th, 2008

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