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Canada Archives

Justin Morneau all pissed off at teammates over lack of Boxing Day well-wishes

MINNEAPOLIS, MN--Justin Morneau's teammates didn't call him to wish him a happy Boxing Day, and he is pissed off. "I spent the whole morning waiting for my mobile phone to buzz," [continue reading...]

Posted on December 26th, 2008

Toronto fans confused to see Buffalo and Pittsburgh play football, not hockey

TORONTO, CA -- Canada received its first taste of American football last week, but there is a lot of evidence suggesting they didn't fully understand what was happening. Fans exiting [continue reading...]

Posted on August 21st, 2008

MLB establishment, press, fans all excited about AL East expansion

BOSTON, MA -- Sportswriters across America are baffled by the emergence of other teams in the American League East this season. Newspapers and websites alike – not to mention the [continue reading...]

Posted on May 20th, 2008

Rodriguez denies quad injury is attempt to be like Jeter

NEW YORK, NY -- New York Yankees third baseman Alex Rodriguez left Sunday's 7-1 win over the Baltimore Orioles with a strained quad, but the All-Star denies accusations that his [continue reading...]

Posted on April 21st, 2008

Yankees announce plan to annex Quebec

TAMPA, FL -- "Sacre bleu!" was the cry of a jubilant Hank Steinbrenner at a morning press conference, when the New York Yankees Chairman announced the organization's plans to annex [continue reading...]

Posted on March 6th, 2008

Santa delivers Christmas victory to Lakers by mistake

LOS ANGELES, CA -- The Los Angeles Lakers found themselves on the receiving end of a Christmas miracle earlier this week when they pulled out a victory over the Phoenix [continue reading...]

Posted on December 27th, 2007

Kaman passes Hinrich for coveted Best White American honors

LOS ANGELES, CA -- The NBA announced Wednesday that Clippers center Chris Kaman has surpassed Kirk Hinrich as the Best White American Basketball Player (BWABP). Hinrich held the BWABP title [continue reading...]

Posted on December 26th, 2007

Boston sports fans confident apocalypse is near

BOSTON, MA -- The recent success of Boston sports teams has led many Bostonians to speculate that the apocalypse is near. "Oh, abso-fuckin'-lutely," Boston sports fan, Bert McNulty told SSNN. [continue reading...]

Posted on November 13th, 2007

Raptors change team name

TORONTO, CANADA -- On the heels of a strong improvement last season, the Toronto Raptors have decided to remake their team image. In an attempt to broaden the team's appeal, [continue reading...]

Posted on July 20th, 2007

Stanley Cup to go under knife

ANAHEIM, CA -- The Stanley Cup trophy has been in California for only a few weeks; but that was enough time for it to realize that it wants to get [continue reading...]

Posted on June 21st, 2007

Nash starting “gun” tour

PHOENIX, AZ -- After their disappointing Game 5 loss, Phoenix Suns' superstar guard Steve Nash commented to Craig Sager that he has been working on his guns – most assumed [continue reading...]

Posted on May 20th, 2007

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