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BCS Archives

2008 Top 20, #11: CBS announcer goes to ER after Tebowner lasts for more than four hours

ATLANTA, GA -- At approximately 11 pm Saturday night, CBS sports announcer Gary Danielson realized it was time to head for the emergency room. "Every single commercial for a male virility [continue reading...]

Posted on December 29th, 2008

FOX trades NFL Robot for BCS Championship

NEW YORK, NY -- It was announced earlier this month that the Fox network would not retain the rights to broadcast the BCS championship games for the 2010 and 2011 [continue reading...]

Posted on December 21st, 2008

CBS announcer goes to ER after Tebowner lasts for more than four hours

Posted on December 7th, 2008

Longhorns face difficult road to national championship

AUSTIN, TX -- It almost seems like the BCS doesn't want Texas to win a second national championship in five years this year. "Obviously, we're not biased against any [continue reading...]

Posted on December 5th, 2008

BCS chief: We’ll try and have a national champ in place by April at the latest

NEW YORK, NY -- In a hastily-called press conference, BCS officials made clear today that the public should prepare to wait awhile to know who is the 2008 National Champion. "There [continue reading...]

Posted on December 4th, 2008

Florida Gators remove Detroit Lions from 2009 schedule due to BCS concerns

GAINESVILLE, FL -- The Florida Gators have called the Detroit Lions and informed them that they will be cancelling next year's proposed game, which was to be played at a [continue reading...]

Posted on November 28th, 2008

Entire Texas Tech football team kidnapped, being held for ransom

LUBBOCK, TX -- A hastily written ransom note received this morning by Texas Tech officials confirmed what had been suspected by many in this university community -- that the entire [continue reading...]

Posted on November 24th, 2008

Penn State drops to tenth in the BCS standings after crappy practice

STATE COLLEGE, PA -- A bad practice couldn't have come at a worse time for Penn State. Following a bye week in which they lost a spot in the BCS standings [continue reading...]

Posted on November 6th, 2008

Missouri legislature promotes Mizzou to NFL; removes Chiefs and Rams

JEFFERSON CITY, MO -- In an unprecedented and likely illegal tour de force, the Missouri state legislature passed a bill today that would remove the Kansas City Chiefs and St. [continue reading...]

Posted on September 24th, 2008

Buckeyes eyeing another BCS Championship thrashing

COLUMBUS, OH -- As the spring football season winds down, many teams have dreams of conference championships and bowl victories. The Ohio State Buckeyes, however, have a different goal [continue reading...]

Posted on May 12th, 2008

West Virginia claims Rodriguez is an illegal alien

MORGANTOWN, WV -- The divorce between Rich Rodriguez and West Virginia University has been anything but civil. Squabbling between the two parties has seemingly turned into a weekly event ever [continue reading...]

Posted on January 29th, 2008

Jayhawk fans fuel South Beach fast food sales

MIAMI, FL -- As the host city of the famed Orange Bowl game since its inception, Miami, Florida has attracted crowds the country over with its warm climate, sandy beaches [continue reading...]

Posted on January 7th, 2008

NCAA Bans Notre Dame from entering non-BCS Bowl Games

After dodging speculation over the past week, NCAA officials finally acknowledged yesterday that they secretly altered bowl affiliation rules shortly after the 2007 bowl season to exclude Notre Dame from [continue reading...]

Posted on January 4th, 2008

Mangino to go on all-orange diet

MIAMI, FL -- After a mildly surprising 24-21 Orange Bowl win over Virginia Tech, Kansas head football coach Mark Mangino announced his plans to diet by eating only oranges for [continue reading...]

Posted on January 4th, 2008

Win earns Stewart head coaching job; loss would have brought death

MORGANTOWN, WV -- Bill Stewart, formerly the interim head coach of West Virginia, was promoted to be the team's full time head coach after the Mountaineers thrilling 48-28 victory over [continue reading...]

Posted on January 3rd, 2008

Sooners pre-emptively decline all future Fiesta Bowl bids

NORMAN, OK -- Following a second consecutive loss at the Tostitos Fiesta Bowl, the Oklahoma Sooners announced in a press conference this morning that they are officially refusing all future [continue reading...]

Posted on January 3rd, 2008

Self criticizes fellow Jayhawk Mangino for failing to fulfill potential

LAWRENCE, KS -- Kansas football head coach Mark Mangino and his team are headed for a BCS Bowl – specifically the Orange Bowl, against Virginia Tech – and even if [continue reading...]

Posted on December 23rd, 2007

LSU backup hoping to top last year’s exploits

BATON ROUGE, LA –- LSU backup quarterback Ryan Perrilloux told reporters that he plans to "shock and awe" fans and coaches alike before this year's Sugar Bowl, by topping his [continue reading...]

Posted on December 20th, 2007

FROM THE ARCHIVES: Oregon faculty doesn’t understand popular “Dixon Your Mouth” signs

Dennis Dixon may have fallen out of the Heisman race with his unfortunate knee injury, but that doesn't make his last name any less useful for funny signs... EUGENE, OR -- [continue reading...]

Posted on December 8th, 2007

Weis furious about Irish missing out on BCS

SOUTH BEND, IN -- In a college football season that couldn't get any crazier, the BCS has confirmed that Notre Dame head coach Charlie Weis filed a formal complaint regarding [continue reading...]