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Archie Manning Archives

Furious Archie Manning sends loser sons to bed without dinner

OXFORD, MS—Recalling that his boys had promised “never to come home again without a Super Bowl championship” and saying that he had “never heard of such appalling underachievement”, an infuriated [continue reading...]

Posted on January 19th, 2009

Patriots sign Manning

FOXBORO, MA -- The New England Patriots, in a move of possible desperation, have signed Cooper Manning, older brother of Peyton and Eli, to play quarterback for the rest of [continue reading...]

Posted on September 20th, 2008

Miami parade to honor Giants, ‘72 Dolphins

MIAMI, FL -- The Miami Department of City Planning has announced that on Friday, February 8 at noon there will be a parade – formally the "Reebok Still Perfect Parade" [continue reading...]

Posted on February 6th, 2008

Brady tired of beating Mannings

GLENDALE, AZ -- Tom Brady, usually unflappable leading up to important games, has shown uncharacteristic sensitivity to a number of issues as Super Bowl XLII approaches. In addition to admitting [continue reading...]

Posted on February 2nd, 2008

Cooper Manning: “I’d have four rings by now.”

MEMPHIS, TN -- Cooper Manning, the out-of-the-spotlight older brother of Peyton and Eli Manning, made a rare public statement Friday. "I'd have four Super Bowl rings by now," Cooper Manning said. [continue reading...]

Posted on January 27th, 2008

Archie Manning buys tickets to wrong game

NEW ORLEANS, LA -- Archie Manning is out several thousand dollars after mistakenly buying plane and game tickets for this Sunday's game in Foxboro, Mass. Between the Patriots and Chargers, [continue reading...]

Posted on January 17th, 2008

Peyton Manning experiencing really weird feelings toward brother Eli

INDIANAPOLIS, IN – Peyton Manning reported this week that he’s feeling some really unusual feelings directed at his brother Eli, including some feelings that he’s never felt toward Eli before [continue reading...]

Posted on January 16th, 2008

Archie Manning implores reporters to consider exchange rate when evaluating Eli’s statistics

LONDON, ENGLAND -- After the New York Giants defeated the Miami Dolphins 13-10 on Sunday, former NFL quarterback Archie Manning implored reporters to consider the current exchange rate before they [continue reading...]

Posted on October 29th, 2007

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