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apocalypse Archives

Matt Cassel prays science experiment ends world before Sunday

FOXBORO, MA—Newly-minted Patriots starting QB Matt Cassel has begun to pray that the Large Hadron Collider (LHC) experiment in Geneva, Switzerland induces a cataclysmic reaction and ending all life on [continue reading...]

Posted on September 11th, 2008

Favre upset that Doomsday projection precedes Hall induction

GULFPORT, MS -- With the emotional roller coaster that is his transition from a Hall-of-Fame career to the uncertainty of life after football not yet over, newly retired quarterback Brett [continue reading...]

Posted on April 9th, 2008

Boston sports fans confident apocalypse is near

BOSTON, MA -- The recent success of Boston sports teams has led many Bostonians to speculate that the apocalypse is near. "Oh, abso-fuckin'-lutely," Boston sports fan, Bert McNulty told SSNN. [continue reading...]

Posted on November 13th, 2007

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