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American League Archives

Manny Ramirez always rounds up

Man-Ram has his own special rules of mathematics.

BOSTON, MA -- Manny Ramirez raised some eyebrows this week when he stated that he has "nearly 2000 RBIs," since a quick check of his career statistics shows that he's [continue reading...]

Posted on July 28th, 2008

Eva Longoria thrilled to be voted in to the All-Star Game

NEW YORK, NY -- Actress Eva Longoria told SSNN that she is "excited and thrilled" to have been selected by the fans as the final member of the American League [continue reading...]

Posted on July 13th, 2008

Scratched DVD added to AL All-Stars

Selig doesn’t want to hear your whining - HE is the decider!

NEW YORK CITY, NY -- In a surprising turn of events, MLB has decided to add another roster player to the 2008 American League All-Star team. While most thought the [continue reading...]

Posted on July 10th, 2008

Rays’ Maddon hailed as Second Coming

This is what Jesus looks like with thick-frame glasses and a crew cut.

TAMPA, FL -- Tampa Bay Rays manager Joe Maddon has, by the standards of many baseball experts, performed a miracle in leading his previously hapless squad to first place in [continue reading...]

Posted on July 10th, 2008

Changes in store for All-Star Game

NEW YORK CITY, NY -- After a wildly popular voting session that boasted an all-time high 20 million votes, MLB commissioner Bud Selig announced today that there will be a [continue reading...]

Posted on July 7th, 2008

A-Rod’s heart touched by Katy Perry single

A-Rod is presumably preparing to kiss someone, possibly with cherry chapstick

NEW YORK CITY, NY -- With the New York Yankees hovering in third place in the AL East, 5.5 games behind the surging Tampa Bay Rays, Alex Rodriguez has been [continue reading...]

Posted on June 30th, 2008

Twins defect to NL, lead West division by four games

Mauer spearheaded the Twins’ move to the NL West

MINNEAPOLIS, MN -- In what has been called a daring midnight escape, the entire Minnesota Twins organization defected from the gray, dreary American League Central to the sunny climes of [continue reading...]

Posted on June 28th, 2008

Steinbrenner suing MLB in wake of Wang injury

NEW YORK CITY, NY -- After ace pitcher Chien-Ming Wang suffered an injured foot during yesterday's game in Houston against the Astros, New York Yankees boss Hank Steinbrenner has filed [continue reading...]

Posted on June 16th, 2008

MLB establishment, press, fans all excited about AL East expansion

BOSTON, MA -- Sportswriters across America are baffled by the emergence of other teams in the American League East this season. Newspapers and websites alike – not to mention the [continue reading...]

Posted on May 20th, 2008

Steinbrenner suing MLB in wake of Wang injury

Posted on November 30th, 1999

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