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All-Star Game Archives

Baseball owners want to use instant replay to review Selig hiring

If owners have their way, Selig’s hiring could be overturned by instant replay.

NEW YORK, NY -- As the professional baseball owners gather to consider instant replay, SSNN has learned that many of the owners are interested in using the technology to take [continue reading...]

Posted on August 19th, 2008

Marlins cancel shuttle

Uggla is driving his teammates nuts since the All-Star Game

MIAMI, FL -- The Florida Marlins have announced that they are canceling the eco-friendly shuttle that the team launched a couple weeks ago, due to a general lack [continue reading...]

Posted on July 25th, 2008

McCarver: I almost made it

McCarver is old, old, old… and pretty damn senile.

NEW YORK, NY -- An extensive, week-long SSNN investigation has discovered that former catcher and current FOX broadcaster Tim McCarver almost stayed awake for all 15 innings of Major League [continue reading...]

Posted on July 25th, 2008

Cole Hamels would have pitched the 16^th for NL

Hamels could strike you out just by smirking at you…

NEW YORK, NY -- A panicked Clint Hurdle, realizing that he had only Brandon Webb and Brad Lidge left for the rest of the game, allegedly launched a secret plan [continue reading...]

Posted on July 17th, 2008

Pennsylvania small-business owner furious with National League

Local employer holds Uggla responsible for unproductive workday.

READING, PA -- Dan Kostansky, 41, is absolutely furious today with the National League All-Star team for robbing him of potentially the most productive workday of the year. "We've got eight [continue reading...]

Posted on July 16th, 2008

PETA protests Favre’s return

Favre loves animals, but PETA still hates him…

GREEN BAY, WI -- A protest by People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals went horribly awry on Monday, leaving many longtime supporters confused and thousands of Brett Favre fans [continue reading...]

Posted on July 14th, 2008

Eva Longoria thrilled to be voted in to the All-Star Game

NEW YORK, NY -- Actress Eva Longoria told SSNN that she is "excited and thrilled" to have been selected by the fans as the final member of the American League [continue reading...]

Posted on July 13th, 2008

80’s singer Corey Hart wins online All-Star vote

Corey Hart, wearing sunglasses, possibly at night.

NEW YORK, NY -- In a victory deemed by many baseball experts as a shocking upset, singer Corey Hart won an online fan vote for the final spot on the [continue reading...]

Posted on July 13th, 2008

Scratched DVD added to AL All-Stars

Selig doesn’t want to hear your whining - HE is the decider!

NEW YORK CITY, NY -- In a surprising turn of events, MLB has decided to add another roster player to the 2008 American League All-Star team. While most thought the [continue reading...]

Posted on July 10th, 2008

Changes in store for All-Star Game

NEW YORK CITY, NY -- After a wildly popular voting session that boasted an all-time high 20 million votes, MLB commissioner Bud Selig announced today that there will be a [continue reading...]

Posted on July 7th, 2008

Overly nice human being Chase Utley withdraws self from All-Star Game

PHILADELPHIA -- Chase Utley has withdrawn himself from the baseball All-Star Game on the grounds that he is getting too much positive attention, and that it would just be "so [continue reading...]

Posted on July 3rd, 2008

Chris Bosh’s All-Star Commercial

Posted on January 5th, 2008

Lane Bryant to open chain of Kobe Bryant stores

COLUMBUS, OH -- The plus-sized women's clothing chain Lane Bryant has announced it's opening a new series of Kobe Bryant stores, geared specifically for the "full-figured woman who is also [continue reading...]

Posted on January 3rd, 2008

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