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All-Star Game Archives

American public still under impression baseball players of old wouldn’t have used steroids

NEW YORK, NY—A recent poll conducted by Major League Baseball and ESPN in the wake of the firestorm of controversy following Alex Rodriguez’s admission of steroid use during his [continue reading...]

Posted on February 12th, 2009

Cy Young winner Lincecum anticipating severe dehydration and flulike symptoms tomorrow

SAN FRANCISCO, CA -- Emergency medical staff and hospital personnel throughout the Bay Area are on high alert after news broke Tuesday that Tim Lincecum would be receiving the 2008 [continue reading...]

Posted on November 12th, 2008

Baseball owners want to use instant replay to review Selig hiring

NEW YORK, NY -- As the professional baseball owners gather to consider instant replay, SSNN has learned that many of the owners are interested in using the technology to take [continue reading...]

Posted on August 19th, 2008

Marlins cancel shuttle

MIAMI, FL -- The Florida Marlins have announced that they are canceling the eco-friendly shuttle that the team launched a couple weeks ago, due to a general lack [continue reading...]

Posted on July 25th, 2008

McCarver: I almost made it

NEW YORK, NY -- An extensive, week-long SSNN investigation has discovered that former catcher and current FOX broadcaster Tim McCarver almost stayed awake for all 15 innings of Major League [continue reading...]

Posted on July 25th, 2008

Cole Hamels would have pitched the 16^th for NL

NEW YORK, NY -- A panicked Clint Hurdle, realizing that he had only Brandon Webb and Brad Lidge left for the rest of the game, allegedly launched a secret plan [continue reading...]

Posted on July 17th, 2008

Pennsylvania small-business owner furious with National League

READING, PA -- Dan Kostansky, 41, is absolutely furious today with the National League All-Star team for robbing him of potentially the most productive workday of the year. "We've got eight [continue reading...]

Posted on July 16th, 2008

PETA protests Favre’s return

GREEN BAY, WI -- A protest by People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals went horribly awry on Monday, leaving many longtime supporters confused and thousands of Brett Favre fans [continue reading...]

Posted on July 14th, 2008

Eva Longoria thrilled to be voted in to the All-Star Game

NEW YORK, NY -- Actress Eva Longoria told SSNN that she is "excited and thrilled" to have been selected by the fans as the final member of the American League [continue reading...]

Posted on July 13th, 2008

80’s singer Corey Hart wins online All-Star vote

NEW YORK, NY -- In a victory deemed by many baseball experts as a shocking upset, singer Corey Hart won an online fan vote for the final spot on the [continue reading...]

Posted on July 13th, 2008

Scratched DVD added to AL All-Stars

NEW YORK CITY, NY -- In a surprising turn of events, MLB has decided to add another roster player to the 2008 American League All-Star team. While most thought the [continue reading...]

Posted on July 10th, 2008

Changes in store for All-Star Game

NEW YORK CITY, NY -- After a wildly popular voting session that boasted an all-time high 20 million votes, MLB commissioner Bud Selig announced today that there will be a [continue reading...]

Posted on July 7th, 2008

Overly nice human being Chase Utley withdraws self from All-Star Game

PHILADELPHIA -- Chase Utley has withdrawn himself from the baseball All-Star Game on the grounds that he is getting too much positive attention, and that it would just be "so [continue reading...]

Posted on July 3rd, 2008

Chris Bosh’s All-Star Commercial

Posted on January 5th, 2008

Lane Bryant to open chain of Kobe Bryant stores

COLUMBUS, OH -- The plus-sized women's clothing chain Lane Bryant has announced it's opening a new series of Kobe Bryant stores, geared specifically for the "full-figured woman who is also [continue reading...]

Posted on January 3rd, 2008

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