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All-Star Archives
After dropping from Senate contention, Kennedy wants New York job where you get paid $20 million a year to do nothing
NEW YORK CITY, NY -- When presumptive frontrunner Caroline Kennedy withdrew her name from consideration for the New York senate seat vacated by Secretary of State Hillary Clinton, many people [continue reading...]
Posted on January 26th, 2009
2008 Top 20, #8: Citing failures in New Orleans, NBA moving ‘09 All-Star to Jakarta
NEW ORLEANS, LA -- Describing the All-Star Weekend in New Orleans as a "monumental error in judgment and a tremendous letdown," NBA commissioner David Stern announced that next year's All-Star [continue reading...]
Posted on December 30th, 2008
Papelbon changes intro song from “Wild Thing” to “I Kissed a Girl”
BOSTON, MA—Jonathan Papelbon, all-star closer for the Red Sox has announced that he will change the song played when he leaves the bullpen from the Troggs' "Wild Thing" to Katy [continue reading...]
Posted on August 31st, 2008
Marlins cancel shuttle
MIAMI, FL -- The Florida Marlins have announced that they are canceling the eco-friendly shuttle that the team launched a couple weeks ago, due to a general lack [continue reading...]
Posted on July 25th, 2008
Cole Hamels would have pitched the 16th for NL
NEW YORK, NY -- A panicked Clint Hurdle, realizing that he had only Brandon Webb and Brad Lidge left for the rest of the game, allegedly launched a secret plan [continue reading...]
Posted on July 17th, 2008
80’s singer Corey Hart wins online All-Star vote
NEW YORK, NY -- In a victory deemed by many baseball experts as a shocking upset, singer Corey Hart won an online fan vote for the final spot on the [continue reading...]
Posted on July 13th, 2008
Sabathia settles Brewers rotation debate by eating Sheets
MILWAUKEE, WI -- When the Brewers traded for C.C. Sabathia yesterday, there was a lot of debate as to whether the incoming "ace" would replace the current "ace" of the [continue reading...]
Posted on July 8th, 2008
SSNN forced to pull A-Rod story when it actually becomes true
CHICAGO, IL -- The Serious Sports News Network is reeling today after an ironic twist of events which resulted in a scheduled story for the satire site being pulled from [continue reading...]
Posted on July 8th, 2008
Overly nice human being Chase Utley withdraws self from All-Star Game
PHILADELPHIA -- Chase Utley has withdrawn himself from the baseball All-Star Game on the grounds that he is getting too much positive attention, and that it would just be "so [continue reading...]
Posted on July 3rd, 2008
Citing failures in New Orleans, NBA moving ‘09 All-Star to Jakarta
NEW ORLEANS, LA -- Describing the All-Star Weekend in New Orleans as a "monumental error in judgment and a tremendous letdown," NBA commissioner David Stern announced that next year's All-Star [continue reading...]
Posted on February 19th, 2008
Superman showboating at NBA event while world conflicts continue
NEW ORLEANS, LA -- Despite the fact that he had previously only been seen in comic books and a series of movies, Superman was finally spotted in real life, appearing [continue reading...]
Posted on February 18th, 2008
WNBA All-Star Game attracts baker’s dozen
NEW YORK, NY -- No fewer than 13 people officially viewed the WNBA All-Star Game, according to statistics released by the league Monday. "This has been a great WNBA season, and [continue reading...]
Posted on July 16th, 2007
Selig undecided on All-Star attendance
SAN FRANCISCO, CA -- Despite the fact that All-Star festivities are set to kick off 8 PM ET this evening, MLB Commissioner Bud Selig has yet to decide whether he [continue reading...]
Posted on July 10th, 2007
MLB still toying with All-Star format
SAN FRANCISCO, CA -- In 2003, Major League Baseball adopted the slogan "This Time It Counts" for the All-Star Game, after the previous year's game resulted in a tie. Commissioner [continue reading...]
Posted on July 10th, 2007
KC hopes to opt out of All-Star
KANSAS CITY, KANSAS -- With heavy hearts, Kansas City Royals fans decided over the weekend to waive their right to be represented at this year's All-Star Game festivities. "I understand the [continue reading...]
Posted on July 9th, 2007
Bonds receives message from fans
SAN FRANCISCO, CA -- In a stunning rebuke from the fans of baseball, Barry Bonds received only 2.5 million votes for the All-Star Game, and was barely elected to be [continue reading...]
Posted on July 2nd, 2007
Arenas frustrated by “team-first approach”
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- After starting in the NBA All-Star game for the first time, Gilbert Arenas has been frustrated since his return to the Washington Wizards. "To tell you the [continue reading...]
Posted on February 21st, 2007
Barkley to be stripped of race victory
LAS VEGAS, NV -- Charles Barkley’s victory in his All-Star Saturday race with referee Dick Bavetta is now being disputed. NBA officials found a foreign substance in Barkley’s engine [continue reading...]
Posted on February 18th, 2007
First dunk contest attempt to come early
LAS VEGAS, NV -- The start of the first round of the NBA's All-Star Slam Dunk contest has been re-scheduled. According to an official statement released by the league office [continue reading...]
Posted on February 6th, 2007
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