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Utah Jazz Archives

Evangelicals take credit for Tampa Bay playoff berth

TAMPA BAY, FL -- Christian evangelicals across the country are rejoicing today as the Tampa Bay Rays have made the playoffs, an event for which evangelicals are taking complete credit. "See [continue reading...]

Posted on September 24th, 2008

Boozer’s wife keeps messing up checkbook

SALT LAKE CITY, UT -- Carlos Boozer and his wife Cece have been arguing recently over some problems Cece is having keeping the couple's checkbook clean and balanced. "I like to [continue reading...]

Posted on December 11th, 2007

Hoping to boost Jazz attendance, Boozer takes two more wives

SALT LAKE CITY, UT -- In a surprising marketing move designed to increase attendance, Utah Jazz star forward Carlos Boozer married two additional wives this week. "We talked to Carlos about [continue reading...]

Posted on November 3rd, 2007

Thousands dead in Utah, San Antonio

SAN ANTONIO, TX -- Authorities in two major American cities revealed what appears to be a mass suicide on Thursday. More than 2,000 deaths were reported in San Antonio and [continue reading...]

Posted on June 1st, 2007

NBA announces changes for Finals

SAN ANTONIO, TX -- While in town for the second game of the Western Conference Finals, NBA Commissioner David Stern used the opportunity to address the media about the upcoming [continue reading...]

Posted on May 23rd, 2007

Warriors suspend Davis for Game 5

OAKLAND, CA -- The Golden State Warriors announced Monday that star guard Baron Davis has been suspended for Game 5 of the team's playoff series against the Utah Jazz. Warriors' [continue reading...]

Posted on May 14th, 2007

Scott compelled to take much-needed break

BRISTOL, CT -- Stuart Scott – the man that blessed the nation with catch phrases like "Boo-Ya" and "cooler than the other side of the pillow" – has left ESPN [continue reading...]

Posted on May 13th, 2007

Cuban holding grudge

DALLAS, TX -- Dallas Mavericks' owner Mark Cuban refuses to let his feud with former Mavs head coach Don Nelson die. Cuban announced Monday that he has purchased the Utah [continue reading...]

Posted on May 8th, 2007

Van Gundy headed for better place

HOUSTON, TX -- According to a source within the Houston Rockets organization, head coach Jeff Van Gundy will announce Monday that he is leaving the team. The source added that [continue reading...]

Posted on May 7th, 2007

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