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Tom Brady Archives
Brady, Moss caught playing ‘Screw, Marry, Kill’ with Lynch, O’Neal, and Hobbs
FOXBORO, MA—Scandal erupted in Patriots training camp yesterday when members of the media walked in on pro-bowlers Tom Brady and Randy Moss engaging in the game known as “Screw, marry, [continue reading...]
Posted on September 2nd, 2008
ESPN unveils latest summer gimmick: “Who’s Porno Hot?”
BRISTOL, CT – Sports fans often dread the news wasteland that is the month of July; the NBA and NHL Finals are over, the NFL has yet to start training [continue reading...]
Posted on July 2nd, 2008
Tom Brady, Sr. having trouble picking out son’s birthday gift
SAN MATEO, CA -- Tom Brady, Sr. – father of New England Patriots' superstar quarterback Tom Brady – is having a "helluva time" figuring out what to get his son [continue reading...]
Posted on June 26th, 2008
Satan to lead Celtics victory parade, collect on debt of souls
BOSTON, MA -- In celebration of their first NBA championship in 22 years, the city of Boston has scheduled a victory parade for their beloved Celtics. The parade will be [continue reading...]
Posted on June 18th, 2008
Brady changed by fatherhood, hopes for more children
BOSTON, MA -- In an exclusive interview with SSNN, Tom Brady talked for the first time about what it feels like to be a father. Brady, a three-time Super Bowl [continue reading...]
Posted on March 31st, 2008
Brady missing Pro Bowl with unexpected bout of soreloseritus
BOSTON, MA -- In the wake of his team's dramatic Super Bowl XLII's loss, New England Patriots quarterback Tom Brady announced that he would not be journeying to Hawaii for [continue reading...]
Posted on February 6th, 2008
New England chef admits he didn’t “leave it all in the kitchen”
GLENDALE, AZ -- In the aftermath of the New England Patriots' disappointing Super Bowl loss, fingers of blame are being pointed willy-nilly throughout the organization. Few Patriot staffers, [continue reading...]
Posted on February 4th, 2008
Puppy Bowl IV outdraws first three quarters of Super Bowl XLII
GLENDALE, AZ -- Early Nielsen polls for Sunday evening provided some unexpected news for producers of Animal Planet's Puppy Bowl IV. "We beat the Super Bowl?!" exclaimed executive producer Melinda [continue reading...]
Posted on February 4th, 2008
Brady tired of beating Mannings
GLENDALE, AZ -- Tom Brady, usually unflappable leading up to important games, has shown uncharacteristic sensitivity to a number of issues as Super Bowl XLII approaches. In addition to admitting [continue reading...]
Posted on February 2nd, 2008
Shula: Patriots not undefeated until they win NCAA Tournament, World Series of Poker
GLENDALE, AZ -- Don Shula, coach of the 1972 Dolphins, hastily called a press conference outside University of Phoenix Stadium Thursday morning to make an important announcement about the New [continue reading...]
Posted on January 31st, 2008
Brady: “Super Bowl is chance for perfect suntan”
GLENDALE, AZ -- Tom Brady announced Wednesday morning that he thinks the Pats trip to the Super Bowl provides the ultimate chance to really nail down the perfect suntan. [continue reading...]
Posted on January 30th, 2008
Peyton Manning declares self “superior advertiser” to Brady
GLENDALE, AZ -- Peyton Manning came clean about his feelings toward Tom Brady's commercial endorsements today, announcing that he was "the superior advertiser." "I'm not talking about who's better at playing [continue reading...]
Posted on January 29th, 2008
Petty to just play Guitar Hero III for Super Bowl halftime
GLENDALE, AZ -- This is not your father's Super Bowl. Instead of rehearsing an elaborate stage show – complete with countless dancers, multiple songs, fireworks, and the rest – Tom Petty [continue reading...]
Posted on January 29th, 2008
New Jersey moron actually thinks Brady might not play in Super Bowl
WEST ORANGE, N.J. -- 24-year-old Johnny Marciano, a sixth-year senior at Rutgers, is extremely excited today as he anticipates Patriots quarterback Tom Brady potentially having to sit out the Super [continue reading...]
Posted on January 28th, 2008
FROM THE ARCHIVES: Real-life Patriots outperform Bill Simmons-led Video Game Patriots
The Pats may not have been beating teams this bad lately, but chances are they'll smack the Giants worse than Bill Simmons ever could in a video game... NEW YORK, NY [continue reading...]
Posted on January 22nd, 2008
Brady sex appeal too much for Chargers in fourth quarter
FOXBORO, MA -- The San Diego Chargers were able to challenge the undefeated New England Patriots for much of the AFC Championship game on Sunday, but ultimately were unable to [continue reading...]
Posted on January 22nd, 2008
Awkward mistletoe encounter threatens Patriots’ chemistry
FOXBORO, MA -- For the New England Patriots, a team that has relied on such precision timing and an uncanny ability to avoid trouble for the past four months, Wednesday [continue reading...]
Posted on December 20th, 2007
FROM THE ARCHIVES: Patriots to sim rest of season on Madden ‘08
The Patriots were only 9-0 when Bill Belichick began to consider simulating the remainder of the season using Madden '08. That option has to be looking even more attractive now, [continue reading...]
Posted on December 9th, 2007
Celtics beat Knicks by 45; Boston fans disgusted
BOSTON, MA -- The Boston Celtics, wanting to make a statement about their ability to contend in the NBA East this year, narrowly beat the New York Knicks by 45 [continue reading...]
Posted on November 30th, 2007
Bill Belichick runs up score against son in Madden
FOXBORO, MA -- Patriots coach Bill Belichick made news late Sunday when he was accused of running up the score again, this time in a game of Madden '08 against [continue reading...]
Posted on November 19th, 2007
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