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Brady changed by fatherhood, hopes for more children

BOSTON, MA -- In an exclusive interview with SSNN, Tom Brady talked for the first time about what it feels like to be a father. Brady, a three-time Super Bowl [continue reading...]

Posted on March 31st, 2008

Brady missing Pro Bowl with unexpected bout of soreloseritus

BOSTON, MA -- In the wake of his team's dramatic Super Bowl XLII's loss, New England Patriots quarterback Tom Brady announced that he would not be journeying to Hawaii for [continue reading...]

Posted on February 6th, 2008

New England chef admits he didn’t “leave it all in the kitchen”

GLENDALE, AZ -- In the aftermath of the New England Patriots' disappointing Super Bowl loss, fingers of blame are being pointed willy-nilly throughout the organization. Few Patriot staffers, [continue reading...]

Posted on February 4th, 2008

Puppy Bowl IV outdraws first three quarters of Super Bowl XLII

GLENDALE, AZ -- Early Nielsen polls for Sunday evening provided some unexpected news for producers of Animal Planet's Puppy Bowl IV. "We beat the Super Bowl?!" exclaimed executive producer Melinda [continue reading...]

Posted on February 4th, 2008

Brady tired of beating Mannings

GLENDALE, AZ -- Tom Brady, usually unflappable leading up to important games, has shown uncharacteristic sensitivity to a number of issues as Super Bowl XLII approaches. In addition to admitting [continue reading...]

Posted on February 2nd, 2008

Shula: Patriots not undefeated until they win NCAA Tournament, World Series of Poker

GLENDALE, AZ -- Don Shula, coach of the 1972 Dolphins, hastily called a press conference outside University of Phoenix Stadium Thursday morning to make an important announcement about the New [continue reading...]

Posted on January 31st, 2008

Brady: “Super Bowl is chance for perfect suntan”

GLENDALE, AZ -- Tom Brady announced Wednesday morning that he thinks the Pats trip to the Super Bowl provides the ultimate chance to really nail down the perfect suntan. [continue reading...]

Posted on January 30th, 2008

Peyton Manning declares self “superior advertiser” to Brady

GLENDALE, AZ -- Peyton Manning came clean about his feelings toward Tom Brady's commercial endorsements today, announcing that he was "the superior advertiser." "I'm not talking about who's better at playing [continue reading...]

Posted on January 29th, 2008

Petty to just play Guitar Hero III for Super Bowl halftime

GLENDALE, AZ -- This is not your father's Super Bowl. Instead of rehearsing an elaborate stage show – complete with countless dancers, multiple songs, fireworks, and the rest – Tom Petty [continue reading...]

Posted on January 29th, 2008

New Jersey moron actually thinks Brady might not play in Super Bowl

WEST ORANGE, N.J. -- 24-year-old Johnny Marciano, a sixth-year senior at Rutgers, is extremely excited today as he anticipates Patriots quarterback Tom Brady potentially having to sit out the Super [continue reading...]

Posted on January 28th, 2008

FROM THE ARCHIVES: Real-life Patriots outperform Bill Simmons-led Video Game Patriots

The Pats may not have been beating teams this bad lately, but chances are they'll smack the Giants worse than Bill Simmons ever could in a video game... NEW YORK, NY [continue reading...]

Posted on January 22nd, 2008

Brady sex appeal too much for Chargers in fourth quarter

FOXBORO, MA -- The San Diego Chargers were able to challenge the undefeated New England Patriots for much of the AFC Championship game on Sunday, but ultimately were unable to [continue reading...]

Posted on January 22nd, 2008

Awkward mistletoe encounter threatens Patriots’ chemistry

FOXBORO, MA -- For the New England Patriots, a team that has relied on such precision timing and an uncanny ability to avoid trouble for the past four months, Wednesday [continue reading...]

Posted on December 20th, 2007

FROM THE ARCHIVES: Patriots to sim rest of season on Madden ‘08

The Patriots were only 9-0 when Bill Belichick began to consider simulating the remainder of the season using Madden '08. That option has to be looking even more attractive now, [continue reading...]

Posted on December 9th, 2007

Celtics beat Knicks by 45; Boston fans disgusted

BOSTON, MA -- The Boston Celtics, wanting to make a statement about their ability to contend in the NBA East this year, narrowly beat the New York Knicks by 45 [continue reading...]

Posted on November 30th, 2007

Bill Belichick runs up score against son in Madden

FOXBORO, MA -- Patriots coach Bill Belichick made news late Sunday when he was accused of running up the score again, this time in a game of Madden '08 against [continue reading...]

Posted on November 19th, 2007

Unattended Peyton Manning buys Ed Hardy Shirt

INDIANAPOLIS, IN -- A Thursday evening shopping trip to a local Nordstrom's erupted into chaos when Peyton Manning wandered unsupervised into the men's section and began picking his own clothing. "I [continue reading...]

Posted on November 17th, 2007

Patriots to sim rest of season on Madden ‘08

FOXBORO, MA -- At his press conference on Monday, New England Patriots head coach Bill Belichick announced the team will simulate the rest of the season using the Madden '08 [continue reading...]

Posted on November 11th, 2007

Tom Brady to give first-born son to charity if Colts beat Pats

INDIANAPOLIS, IN -- Displaying the same confidence that led the Patriots to three super bowl victories, Patriots quarterback Tom Brady announced Saturday that he will give his recently born son [continue reading...]

Posted on November 3rd, 2007

Americans prepare for most productive workday since October 2004

USA -- Millions of Americans are scrambling today to set up meetings, schedule phone calls, and arrange client visits; all in a desperate attempt to avoid face-to-face contact with gloating [continue reading...]

Posted on October 29th, 2007

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