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New York Knicks Archives

After dropping from Senate contention, Kennedy wants New York job where you get paid $20 million a year to do nothing

Caroline thinks she can fill Starbury’s shoes.

NEW YORK CITY, NY -- When presumptive frontrunner Caroline Kennedy withdrew her name from consideration for the New York senate seat vacated by Secretary of State Hillary Clinton, many people [continue reading...]

Posted on January 26th, 2009

D’Antoni calls Obama to thank him for Marbury’s sudden change in attitude

NEW YORK, NY -- It's taken a few days, but Mike D'Antoni finally was able to get on the phone with President-elect Barack Obama. All he had to say was [continue reading...]

Posted on November 13th, 2008

Isiah Thomas clears up cover-up controversy: “It was actually Barack Obama”

NEW YORK, NY -- Hours after Isiah Thomas was publicly eviscerated by Harrison, N.Y. police chief David Hall for attempting to use his daughter in a cover-up regarding an overdose [continue reading...]

Posted on October 26th, 2008

Satan to Yankees fans: “It’s out of my hands”

NEW YORK, NY -- Yankee fans woke up to horrifying news this morning, after Satan, Prince of Lies and Ruler of Darkness, gave a dour prognosis for the Bronx Bombers. [continue reading...]

Posted on August 28th, 2008

Suns future in doubt after Shaq steps on Nash

PHOENIX, AZ -- Just when it seemed that things couldn't get any worse for the Phoenix Suns – they did. After making a late-season deal to acquire center Shaquille O'Neal from [continue reading...]

Posted on May 27th, 2008

Stern denies funny business in Draft Lottery

Stern is fed up with conspiracy theorists…

CHICAGO, IL -- After the Chicago Bulls' unlikely acquisition of the first overall pick in Tuesday night's NBA Draft Lottery, conspiracy theories have been shouted from the rooftops in Miami, [continue reading...]

Posted on May 21st, 2008

D’Antoni “can’t wait” to work with Marbury

NEW YORK CITY, NY -- During the press conference introducing him as the new head coach of the New York Knicks, Mike D'Antoni told reporters, "I can't wait to work [continue reading...]

Posted on May 16th, 2008

Bird threatens Pacers with short shorts, mustaches

Soon, the Pacers may all look like this, except for the mullet

INDIANAPOLIS, IN -- Basketball legend and Indiana Pacers' executive Larry Bird wasted no time in flexing his newfound power following the departure of CEO Donnie Walsh. Bird, the President of [continue reading...]

Posted on April 23rd, 2008

Skiles wakes up hungover, hopes he didn’t do anything stupid in Milwaukee on Monday

Skiles tries not to vomit after realizing what he’s done

MILWAUKEE, WI -- Former NBA guard and recent Bulls head coach Scott Skiles woke up Tuesday morning with a brutal hangover and a nagging feeling that he had done something [continue reading...]

Posted on April 22nd, 2008

Thomas vows to return Walsh’s calls eventually

NEW YORK, NY -- Isiah Thomas, head coach of the struggling New York Knicks, claims not to be deeply concerned about phone calls from new Knicks president Donnie Walsh. Despite his [continue reading...]

Posted on April 10th, 2008

Isiah “in” for Indiana job; school officials not amused

INDIANAPOLIS, IN -- When Tony Bennett formally removed himself from the running to be the next head basketball coach at Indiana University over the weekend, the decision was met with [continue reading...]

Posted on April 1st, 2008

Walsh out after embarrassing 4-game winning streak

INDIANAPOLIS, IN -- The Indiana Pacers have won four games in a row, and owners Herb and Mel Simon aren't happy about it. Sitting just a game and a half [continue reading...]

Posted on March 25th, 2008

Stern creating new postseason tournament

MEMPHIS, TN -- The Memphis Grizzlies have not won a single playoff game in their franchise's history. Since 2001, the New York Knicks have had a losing record every season [continue reading...]

Posted on March 21st, 2008

Isiah attempting to trade for Tiger

NEW YORK CITY, NY -- In an attempt to save the floundering New York Knicks, embattled coach Isiah Thomas has contacted representatives of the PGA Tour, and is attempting to [continue reading...]

Posted on March 13th, 2008

Isiah trades Curry to Globetrotters for guy who throws confetti

NEW YORK CITY, NY -- Raising further questions about his ability as an NBA GM, Isiah Thomas made another controversial move today when he traded center Eddy Curry to the [continue reading...]

Posted on December 9th, 2007

Knicks to stage mock presidential debate

NEW YORK, NY -- Almost as soon as the idea came forth, Isiah Thomas called "dibbs!" "I got Barack Obama," Thomas shouted nearly instantly after the New York Knicks decided they [continue reading...]

Posted on December 6th, 2007

Celtics beat Knicks by 45; Boston fans disgusted

BOSTON, MA -- The Boston Celtics, wanting to make a statement about their ability to contend in the NBA East this year, narrowly beat the New York Knicks by 45 [continue reading...]

Posted on November 30th, 2007

Curry and Randolph eating contests force Knicks to remove locker room buffet

NEW YORK, NY -- Intense eating contests between Knicks Center Eddy Curry and new acquisition Zach Randolph have forced team officials to remove a buffet table from the locker room. [continue reading...]

Posted on November 1st, 2007

Houston on comeback: “Totally unsuccessful basketball-wise, but great cardio”

NEW YORK, NY -- After last week’s attempt at rejoining the New York Knicks failed, shooting guard Allan Houston chose to look at the bright side of things. "From a [continue reading...]

Posted on October 26th, 2007

Pamela Anderson named new Knicks assistant

NEW YORK, NY -- New York Knicks GM Isiah Thomas announced today that the embattled franchise has hired Pamela Anderson as its new marketing director, replacing Anucha Brown Sanders. Sanders, [continue reading...]

Posted on October 25th, 2007