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New York Jets Archives

Favre: no plans to retire from being mental pain in the ass every spring

HATTIESBURG, MS -- After a disappointing run with the New York Jets in 2008, retired quarterback Brett Favre is flirting with the Minnesota Vikings in an attempt to resurrect [continue reading...]

Posted on May 8th, 2009

Brett Favre preemptively retires from remaining 30 NFL teams

NEW YORK, NY - Following an announcement earlier that Brett Favre has officially retired from the New York Jets, he released a statement citing that he is also retiring from [continue reading...]

Posted on February 11th, 2009

Favre resumes taking painkillers

NEW YORK, NY—In what has become a rather predictable off-season routine for the football world, Jets quarterback Brett Favre announced today that he will, after spending several weeks with his [continue reading...]

Posted on January 10th, 2009

Brett Favre has (probably) played his last NFL game (we think)

NEW YORK -- SSNN has (sort of) learned that (potentially) Brett Favre of the New York Jets is going to (maybe) retire from football and that the future Hall of [continue reading...]

Posted on January 8th, 2009

Jets seeking an older, more mature and experienced quarterback

NEW YORK -- A week ago Sunday afternoon the New York Jets were eliminated from playoff contention when they lost to the Miami Dolphins, but back in August with a [continue reading...]

Posted on January 5th, 2009

2008 Year in Review, #18: Favre apologizes for behavior, shares Packers playbook with everyone

NEW YORK NY—A disgraced Brett Favre confessed to reporters on Monday that he had indeed tipped off the Lions about the Packers playbook schemes before his former team faced Detroit [continue reading...]

Posted on December 27th, 2008

Brett Favre ruining Jets’ gift exchange with “buy American” obsession

NEW YORK -- Reports from the New York Jets indicate that Brett Favre is negatively affecting the team's annual Christmas gift exchange. "For a long time, every year we do a [continue reading...]

Posted on December 16th, 2008

Favre and Belichick to create douchebag magnet Sunday; expected to lure thousands to Foxboro

FOXBORO, MA—Scientists are scrambling this week, as supercomputers from the University of Chicago’s Yerkes Observatory have forecasted that this coming Sunday, in Foxboro, the presence of Patriots head coach Bill [continue reading...]

Posted on November 12th, 2008

GroupWrite: Favre calls McCain, tells him how to beat Obama

SSNN is introducing a new feature in which we'll announce a headline and solicit input from our readers, that we'll put together into a story written by the readership. If [continue reading...]

Posted on November 2nd, 2008

Favre apologizes for behavior, shares Packers playbook with everyone

Posted on October 20th, 2008

Petulant Favre writes his name on all of his groceries in family fridge

NEW YORK, NY -- Brett Favre, Super Bowl winning quarterback and future Hall of Famer, has always been known for having the heart of a champion. Now, however, he's increasingly [continue reading...]

Posted on October 20th, 2008

Favres forgot to cancel Monday Night Football party

KILN, MS -- Dozens of friends of Brett and Deanna Favre were puzzled Monday when they arrived at the Favre residence for a Monday Night Football viewing party, only to [continue reading...]

Posted on September 22nd, 2008

Packer fans disgusted: Favre would’ve thrown 4 tds

GREEN BAY, WI—Aaron Rogers has impressed the football world in his first two NFL starts, leading the Packers to a 2-0 start and throwing no interceptions thus far. On Sunday's [continue reading...]

Posted on September 16th, 2008

Matt Cassel prays science experiment ends world before Sunday

FOXBORO, MA—Newly-minted Patriots starting QB Matt Cassel has begun to pray that the Large Hadron Collider (LHC) experiment in Geneva, Switzerland induces a cataclysmic reaction and ending all life on [continue reading...]

Posted on September 11th, 2008

Favre surprised, hurt that he’s not on McCain VP short list

Favre is really sad that he’s not a VP candidate.

NEW YORK, NY -- A disgruntled Brett Favre told reporters Thursday morning that he is "a little surprised and hurt" that he's not being seriously considered as a potential running [continue reading...]

Posted on August 14th, 2008

Rodgers asked for autograph for first time ever

Rodgers was thrilled to sign his first autograph.

GREEN BAY, WI -- After watching a reassuringly average performance against the Cincinnati Bengals, six year-old Green Bay resident Justin Fitchburg asked new Packers quarterback Aaron Rodgers to sign his [continue reading...]

Posted on August 12th, 2008

ESPN scrambling for Wednesday programming

Van Peezy is looking for new, non-Favre material for his radio show.

BRISTOL, CT -- With the trade of Brett Favre from the Green Bay Packers to the New York Jets completed late last night, panic struck at ESPN headquarters. "Boy, was that [continue reading...]

Posted on August 7th, 2008

Jets can’t decide which weak-armed QB should start

Eric Mangini has a fat face and a QB controversy

NEW YORK CITY, NY -- New York Jets coach Eric Mangini has a problem that many football coaches have this time of year – he can't decide on his starting [continue reading...]

Posted on June 5th, 2008

Taylor offers to teach Parcells to dance

Imagine if that hottie was Bill Parcells… mmmm…

MIAMI, FL -- Miami Dolphins defensive end Jason Taylor has made the first move in trying to repair his relationship with Bill Parcells, Miami's new Executive Vice President of Football [continue reading...]

Posted on May 29th, 2008

Faneca says little known skill helped in contract negotiation

LAMAR, TX -- Alan Faneca recently became the highest-paid offensive lineman in NFL history when he signed a four-year contract with a Jets team that struggled mightily last season, particularly [continue reading...]

Posted on March 18th, 2008