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New York Giants Archives

Peyton: Eli will wear Ring Sunday

PHOENIX, AZ -- Surprising the entire gathering of media and fans, Peyton Manning stepped out Friday when he predicted that his younger brother would be the second Manning to wear [continue reading...]

Posted on February 1st, 2008

Shula: Patriots not undefeated until they win NCAA Tournament, World Series of Poker

GLENDALE, AZ -- Don Shula, coach of the 1972 Dolphins, hastily called a press conference outside University of Phoenix Stadium Thursday morning to make an important announcement about the New [continue reading...]

Posted on January 31st, 2008

Petty to just play Guitar Hero III for Super Bowl halftime

GLENDALE, AZ -- This is not your father's Super Bowl. Instead of rehearsing an elaborate stage show – complete with countless dancers, multiple songs, fireworks, and the rest – Tom Petty [continue reading...]

Posted on January 29th, 2008

New Jersey moron actually thinks Brady might not play in Super Bowl

WEST ORANGE, N.J. -- 24-year-old Johnny Marciano, a sixth-year senior at Rutgers, is extremely excited today as he anticipates Patriots quarterback Tom Brady potentially having to sit out the Super [continue reading...]

Posted on January 28th, 2008

Wife of Pats’ Seymour says husband not dirty, just “a little kinky”

FOXBORO, MA -- Tonya Seymour, wife of Patriots defensive lineman Richard Seymour, today defended her husband against allegations that he's a dirty player. "My husband is not a dirty player," [continue reading...]

Posted on January 24th, 2008

Archie Manning buys tickets to wrong game

NEW ORLEANS, LA -- Archie Manning is out several thousand dollars after mistakenly buying plane and game tickets for this Sunday's game in Foxboro, Mass. Between the Patriots and Chargers, [continue reading...]

Posted on January 17th, 2008

Favre: Sunday’s game a “must-win”

GREEN BAY, WI -- Green Bay Packers quarterback Brett Favre has declared Sunday's game a "must-win" for the Packers. "Look, everyone knows that I play better in big games," [continue reading...]

Posted on January 16th, 2008

Peyton Manning experiencing really weird feelings toward brother Eli

INDIANAPOLIS, IN – Peyton Manning reported this week that he’s feeling some really unusual feelings directed at his brother Eli, including some feelings that he’s never felt toward Eli before [continue reading...]

Posted on January 16th, 2008

‘Cowboys cheerleader tells Jessica Simpson to ’step off’

DALLAS, TX -- A Dallas Cowboys cheerleader is crying right now, but it’s for a totally different reason than T.O. Twenty-one year-old and two-year "Cowgirls" veteran Kandi Harris has publicly [continue reading...]

Posted on January 16th, 2008

Simpson’s “Ginormous bozangas” may have been distraction to Romo

IRVING, TEX - NFL commentators are providing a variety of analysis for the many probable reasons for the NY Giants 21-17 NFC [continue reading...]

Posted on January 14th, 2008

FROM THE ARCHIVES: Strahan’s gap closed

Today, Michael Strahan is celebrating clinching a playoff berth. But just a few months ago, he was focused far more on his teeth than on football... NEW YORK, NY -- One [continue reading...]

Posted on December 23rd, 2007

British crowd expected 10-foot men playing soccer against sea mammals

LONDON, ENGLAND -- Tens of thousands of British sports fans are demanding their money back after attending the Giants–Dolphins game on Sunday at Wembley stadium. Confusion arose when many of [continue reading...]

Posted on October 30th, 2007

Dolphins lured to London in demotion ruse

LONDON, ENGLAND -- The Miami Dolphins were held in London today after their Sunday loss to the New York Giants, and are expected to be relegated to the second division, [continue reading...]

Posted on October 29th, 2007

Archie Manning implores reporters to consider exchange rate when evaluating Eli’s statistics

LONDON, ENGLAND -- After the New York Giants defeated the Miami Dolphins 13-10 on Sunday, former NFL quarterback Archie Manning implored reporters to consider the current exchange rate before they [continue reading...]

Posted on October 29th, 2007

Sources: Barber complained about Lauer’s hazing

NEW YORK, NY -- Sources on the NBC morning program The Today Show have disclosed a hazing scandal involving host Matt Lauer and former New York Giants running back/Today Show [continue reading...]

Posted on October 26th, 2007

Strahan’s gap closed

NEW YORK, NY -- One of the most recognizable features of New York Giants star defensive end Michael Strahan has always been the large gap between his two front teeth. [continue reading...]

Posted on May 3rd, 2007

Eli released from Mannings, Giants

EAST RUTHERFORD, NJ -- For the last three years Eli Manning has been the quarterback of the New York Giants, and for three years Giants fans have been disappointed in [continue reading...]

Posted on March 28th, 2007

Jeremy Shockey’s offseason to-do list leaked to press

EAST RUTHERFORD, NJ -- News broke late Sunday night that Jeremy Shockey's closely guarded offseason to-do list, which he has carried in his helmet on a piece of notebook paper [continue reading...]

Posted on January 8th, 2007

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